Things that make you go Hmmmm...
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KiwiTek
Posted: 11 March 2012 - 12:39 AM                                    
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Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


Did you ever stop and wonder........

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
These pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on......

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?



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Fellow Traveler
Posted: 11 March 2012 - 01:16 AM                                    
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Some remarkably good points on that list.



Regards, J.W.

 
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Traveller
Posted: 11 March 2012 - 03:13 AM                                    
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Pretty nice list, Kiwitek. Where did you get it?



 
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MacGyverGod
Posted: 11 March 2012 - 12:10 PM                                    
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Hmmm, I might come up with a few answers. But don't expect them to be intelligent. Though non-intelligent answers might be the correct ones. Silly, but true.



I think the poison that was used was applied to this knife, passed to the mutton when it was cut and then activated by the wine. - MacGyver.
Sometimes you just have to die a little inside to be reborn and rise again as a stronger and wiser version of you.
It's better to be a little sad than to be fake content.

 
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Traveller
Posted: 12 March 2012 - 07:26 AM                                    
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You don't need to find answers, MacGyverGod. These are rhetorical questions.
I checked it out just now, and there are loads of them on the net.

Like:
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards as it is forwards?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
If a black box in a plane is indestructible, why can't they make the whole plane out of it?



 
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Fellow Traveler
Posted: 12 March 2012 - 07:32 AM                                    
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Love these two:

QUOTE (Traveller @ 13 March 2012 - 03:29 AM)
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?




Regards, J.W.

 
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Traveller
Posted: 12 March 2012 - 07:33 AM                                    
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I forgot to mention: these are from a British site called The Funny Pages.



 
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