Gates vs. GM

For all of us who feel only the dee pest love and affection
for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly
compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has,
we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all
be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash....
....twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road,
you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.
You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows,
shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.
For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would
cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart,
in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun,
was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -
but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator
warning lights would all be replaced by a single
"This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would
lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously
lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold
of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would
have to learn how to drive all over again because none
of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

I like!

an oldy but a goody.

Is this doing the rounds again?

Yeah... a friend sent it to me today and because I've been having some 'puter troubles I found this particularly funny. Especially the crack about Macintosh.

The solution... is to get a Mac...-intosh.

Actually Macs are NOT perfect. I found out last summer where in the space of 3 weeks both the power module and the main board on my G5 went bad. I was VERY surprised that this type of thing could happen to a Mac... Luckily, I have "Apple Care Protection Plan" - kind of like an extended warranty, so I only had to pay for the initial consultation - not for parts and labor. Whew!

I remember this one! I've been looking all over for it. Thanks for posting it!

That was great! I think I have read parts of it before, but never the whole thing. You just gotta love computers (it's a love-hate relationship ), mine once sent up an error message in French for no apparent reason (My computer is set on English...apparently it wanted me to be bilingual.)

My only quibble with Macs so far is that they're not dial up friendly. Otherwise, it's total and inconditional love. I'll never regret moving to the light side of the force.

It's great that Macs are so much more compatible with PCs now (really dating this funny piece).

Mac the Mac user, appropriately enough

What's the automotive equivalent of "sticky keys"??



Your windshield starts squirting windshield cleaner and it won't stop until you turn the lights on and off five times?

How about this one--the hazard lights on my Subaru flash on and off if either of the battery cables is disconnected. The ONLY way to shut off the blinking lights is to lock, then unlock the doors, but only with the keyless entry remote. Locking and unlocking the doors from inside the car using the door lock on the door doesn't work.

Um you wouldn't have an alarm system built into the car would you?

Some of the better alarms have a battery backup system and will indicate when the main battery has been disconnected. Using the remote to arm and disarm is basically like switching off the alarm while its activated.

*grabs Geekboy and puts him back in his place*

Sorry about that... sometimes he gets out.

LOL @ Rocky!

I do get a kick out of the Mac/PC rivalry, though I really don't see what all the fuss is about. I've used both Macs and PC's (I currently have a Gateway, which is quite good as PC's go) and no computer is totally problem-free. I like the current Mac ads that are running here in the U.S.... are they showing overseas, by any chance?

Nope, no alarm. That's just the way the car is engineered. I better keep that keyless entry remote handy and stocked with a fresh battery. I also learned that the keyless entry will work from 50m feet away and through my office building window.

Simple--Windows sucks, OS X rocks.

OS X is a million times more reliable. I switched over to a Mac three years ago and OS X has crashed a grand total of three times in those three years (yes, I've been keeping track), and one of those times was on purpose! Windows sometimes crashed three times AN HOUR or more!

Apparently XP is superior to the last version of Windows I used, but I'm no fool; there's no way I'm switching back!

Mac