I'll help with the map and make sure Jack doesn't scamper off with it when no-one's looking

Jack: Little ol' moi! Don't be ridiculous. I wouldn't scamper off with-
Mac: *smacks Jacks hand away from the map*
Me: I'll help Jedi!

*Rolls out the map on the coffee table and weights it down at the corners with a video tape, two hockey pucks and a screwdriver*

Me: OK, lets see what we've got here...
Mac: Hey! I recognise that place! I wound up swimming a river with a journalist near there. Oh man, were the border patrol surprised to see us!
Me: So what's the place marked with the dot?
Mac: Not sure... Anyone know?

Jack: *ch-ching sound and dollar signs in eyes* Treeeeaassuuuurre.... *drool*

Jack: I know what it is!
Mac: Uh huh...
Jack: Lost treasure that needs to be found... by me... I mean, us!
Mac: Your eye is twitchin'
Jack: Is not... *eye twitches*
Penny: So MacGyver...
Mac: Yes Penny?
Penny: Can you do me a "little" favor?"
Mac:
Penny: Can I borrow the Jeep?
Mac: No
Penny: Well, you see... I have to go do this audition...
Mac: No
Penny: Pleeeeease!
Me: I'll take ya Penny.
Penny: Hurray!
Me: Anyone else want to go?
*Mac is staring at the map in silence while Jack is still going on about treasure*
Me: Someone will need to keep an eye on Jack, and make sure he doesn't swindle Mac into something.
Jack: That's cold... real cold.
Sam: I'll keep an eye on Jack.
Jack: Who are you again?
Sam:

... okay, I've been watching far too much Stargate. Try reading that as Jack and Sam from Stargate and it's kinda hilarious.

Me: Mac, what do you see?
Mac: I'm not sure. This place looks so familiar...
Jack: *looking at map upside down* Hey, amigo! I know this place too! Oh, wait... *scoots round to Mac's side of the table*
Jack: Maybe not so much from this angle.
Sam: Oh man...

Me: Mac, however familiar it looks, you don't seem happy to see it.
Mac: I'm not, it makes me sad though I can't place why...
Jack: That's why we need to go, amigo! Then you'll know and I'll... We'll have some treasure to cheer you up
Mac: I dunno Jack, I think maybe we should leave this one alone.

The door bangs and Penny bursts in, in a cloud of chiffon, sequins and theatrical intent.
Penny: *Striking a classic Hollywood starlet pose* How do I look?
Sam: Wow!
Mac: Penny, you look great. Good luck!
Penny sashays out and we hear the Jeep roar off.

Sam watches as Mac's eyes are drawn back to the map. He brushes a stray sequin gently off a beautifully penned mountain range and stands, looking down at the hauntingly familiar landscape...

Me: Awww... poor Mac. Do you need a hug?
Mac: Hugs are nice.
Jack: Can I have a hug?
Me: No... So Mac, what's with this place?
Mac: *hesitates*
Jack:
Penny: I'll make snacks!
Sam: I'll go gas up the Jeep.
Me: The rest of us will stay here and find out what's up with Mac and the sadface.
Mac: *sadface*

I'm not sure what you got in mind Rocket, but very interesting.

No clue, flower - was just putting it out there for someone to pick up!
Something from his past, maybe... DXS mission gone wrong? Lost love? Could the map be of Vietnam and it's a wartime trauma?

Where's a writer when you need one...

(*points at Jedi* There's your writer! )

Me: *is drinking coffee complete with bedhead* Do wha? Oh! Story!
Mac: Yeah, hurry up will ya.
Me: Okay, lets see... what evil thing can I do to Mac...
Mac: HEY!
*thinks and ponders*
Me: GOT IT!
Mac: *holds up sign that reads "help me"*
Me: Oh stop it... I won't hurt you.
Mac: I know about your fanfics...
Me:
*thinks some more and looks at map*
Me: Well, that's why you're sad... that section is called "the Pit of Despair".
Jack: I was there once...
Mac: Your eye is twitchin'.
Sam: Are we goin'?
Me: *grins* We're gonna have a blast! Who wants to make snacks???
Jack: I'll gas up the plane!
Mac: I'm gonna go get duct tape. Lots and LOTS of duct tape.

Me:*looking over Mac's shoulder at the map* Sounds bad. So what happened at the Pit of Despair when you were there before?

Mac: Murdoc happened. I ended up falling into the pit when Murdoc cut the rope bridge and got washed away into an underground river...
*Mac flexes his arm as if with remembered pain*

Jack: So there's treasure, right? Murdoc was after treasure, yes?!

Mac: Murdoc was hired to kill, same as usual. Some kind of turf war between rival gangs or something. I never did find out for sure. Me turning up was just an added bonus for him! There was a ton of stuff stashed in the caves there - it's been a hideout for smugglers since forever. Still is, by the way...

Me: *wiping a smudge of Jack's dribble off the corner of the map* So what were you doing there?

Mac: Well, smugglers don't just smuggle goods - some of them smuggle people. I was on a rescue mission and...

Sam: And...?

Mac: We got separated when the bridge went. I held her hand all the way down but I got slammed into a rock in the river and we were washed apart. I really hope she made it out OK.

Jack: But there's treasure! We should go! I'm going to get my stuff *bounces off*.

Sam: Dad, if you don't want to go back...

Mac: No, it's OK. Besides, I never did pick up the other thing I went there for...

So sorry I haven't had time to post anything in here yet. I've job interviewing like a mad woman. LOL

Me: I'm sure she made it out just fine, Mac. Never know, maybe you'll cross paths with her while we're there.

Mac: Hopefully we won't cross paths with Murdoc though.

Me: So... what's this "other" thing.

Mac: Uhm, you're gonna have to see it.

Me: Are there spiders?

Mac: And snakes.

Sam: Look on the bright side Dad, if there are snake, Murdoc probably won't show up.

Mac: Yeah...

Jack: Plane's already to go!

Me: I got snacks! And the bug spray... and a swatter for the spiders. *shudders*

Mac: Everyone ready to go?

Me: Ready. Jack, when you say the plane's ready to go, do you mean that you did all the checks and counted the parachutes and loaded some extra fuel for the journey back, or that you gave one of the tyres a kick and figured it looked ok...?

Jack: Um...

Me: Go. Now.

A short time passes, in which we get our gear together and Penny returns from her audition, clearly buzzing.

Sam: Well???

Penny: I got it! I'm going to be in a disaster movie!

Mac: *mutters* Seems likely...

Sam: Great! We're about to head off on a treasure hunt. Want to come with us?

Penny: Yeah! Let me get my stuff. I'll tell you all about my new part on the plane!

Mac: That's great news Penny, I'm really pleased for you.

Jack: *sidling back in* All done!

Me: Really done?

Jack *turning away so none of us see the twitch* Really truly done.

Mac: OK, let's go.

*Exeunt omnes, stage left*

(ROFL!!! Omg, I laughed so hard when Penny said she was going to be in a disaster movie. XD)

Me: *slides into an empty seat and fastens seatbelt*

We all get into the plane and buckle up.
The planes coughs into life and Jack taxis round and takes off with his usual aplomb.

Me: (Leaning over Jedi's shoulder) So where are we going then? I brought my passport just in case, but nobody's said which country the Pit of Despair is in...

Me: *drools*
Mac: Hey! *pokes Jediferret* Wake up!
Me: *snort* Wha? What happened? I'm awake! I'm awake!
Mac:
Me: Oh... heh...
Jack: We're preparing to leave.
Me: Oh, yeah... XD So... where is this pit of dispair Mac?
Mac: Uhm... *points to spot on the map* There!
Me: Oh goody! Central America!
Jack: Dinoto!?
Mac: No!
Jack: No Dinoto?
Mac: No.
Penny: I went to Dinoto once... *goes off on random story*
Me: *drools* zzzzzz......
Sam:
Jack: Hey Mac, old buddy... got any of that duct tape?
Mac: Why?
*hears Penny rambling*
Jack: Oh.... no reason.


I do apologize for my absence and lack of posting. >_< I'll try to be by more often. =)

Me: Come on Murdoc, we have to go... Get. On. The. Plane.
Murdoc: but there's snakes.
Me: which do you care about more? MacGyver or the snakes?
Murdoc:

The plane judders, rumbles and clatters it's way over some truly breathtaking South American scenery. We see rainforests, waterfalls glittering in the sun, wide, sweeping valleys, the whole nine yards. It's only slightly spoiled by snatches of conversation floating back from the front seats, heard through the roar of the elderly engines...

Mac: What do you mean, 'not sure'?!
Jack: Mumble mumble...

Mac: Well, OK then - how much runway HAVE we got to play with?
Jack: Mumble squirm...

Mac: Jack! EVERYBODY needs permission to land!
Jack: Mumble mumble... Sigh...

Mac: I shouldn't need to 'have a look at it'. You're supposed to have checked it was working when we took off!

Jack: Groan! Mumble mumble...
Mac: I do NOT worry too much!

Against all the odds, the Mac Pack land fairly safely on a grass runway two weeks from anywhere in the depths of South America. Jack secures the plane, we gear up, find a clear area and try to work out where we actually are...

Mac: Hmm. Looking at the sun, we must be... *He turns round, holding up the map and squinting into the sunlight*

Jack: That way! I can smell the treasure already, amigo!

Me: How far, Mac?

Mac: Hard to say, there's no scale on the map. I didn't come in this way, but I can hear the river so we can't be too far away.

We shoulder our packs and head off after Mac, pausing only to turn Jack round and nudge him in the right direction and retrieve Penny from a flower picking expedition.

As we trek across the meadow and into the edge of the forest, Jedi turns her head, listening to some half caught sound.
Could that purring noise be the sound of another plane approaching from behind the trees, where we can't see it?
Nah, probably only the sound of the river in the distance...

You know Mac seems grumpy in this story.

Well, this is a humor story and isn't meant to be taken seriously. I'm a grump, so I just ran with it.

Oh lol.

You're welcome to add to it if you'd like. It was just something fun we were doing... making fun ourselves and the characters. If you'd like to contribute, feel free to do so!

*walking along the river bank*
Me: So, Murdoc...
Murdoc: What now?
Me: Um... I was just asking where we were actually going.

We trek through the jungle, filled with the sounds of exotic birds and shy animals moving through the foliage. The river sounds louder as we move towards it. I'm just disentangling Jack from the vines for the third time when Mac holds up a hand, stopping us in our tracks.

Me: Mac? What is it?

Mac: SSSH!

And then I see it.

An enormous, green and black snake sliding silently through the jungle ahead of us. It's at least fifteen feet long, with a head the size of a rugby ball. It's heading towards the river too, and it's moving fast...

Murdoc:*holds me back from walking straight off a cliff*
Murdoc: You need to be more careful, you'd never make it if I weren't here to keep you alive.
Me: *hands on hips* Well if it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here to start with!
Murdoc: *mutters to self* I wish you weren't.
Me: I heard that.
Murdoc: I didn't say a word.
Me: *glares angrily at him as we continue walking through the assorted flora and fauna)
*a few minutes of silence*
Me: Are we there yet?
Murdoc: Does it look like we're there yet?
Me: Don't you take that tone with me! I don't even know where we're going!

(Wow that was a mean bit of writing :/ )

Lol. Is it too late for me to join in?

Nope, not at all! Feel free to add to this!

I was thinking about this last week! We start it back up.

Ok then, where were we?

Oh yes.

That's right.

ANACONDA!!!