DXS Agent
Posts: 704
Joined: 7 Jul 2007
Gender: Female
Country: USA
SAK owned: Tinker
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Season: season 3
Episode:The Widowmaker
Vehicle: Jeep
Jacket: Black/Navy flight
House: House boat
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CHAPTER FIVE
It was a long time before Jack Dalton and MacGyver made it to Mac’s houseboat, however, and even longer before they slept. The fifteen minute walk to the house was extended to just over two hours, and the route was anything but direct. Somehow, the two men mutually decided to just walk the night away, without discussing it first.
They admired ships and boats in the harbor.
They reminisced about adventures in youth.
They managed to talk a little about Mike, and how much they missed her.
They talked about fishing, camping, work, and hockey.
They talked about everything.
Everything except Deborah.
Somehow, every time Jack thought MacGyver was getting close to his breaking point and the conversation wandered close to that particular soft spot, the subject was changed or things grew quiet entirely until a new subject could be found.
Jack didn’t mind.
This was still good therapy for MacGyver. And for him. He’d missed just hanging out with his old friend, and Jack was very much enjoying the night. It looked like Mac was, too. He was too busy walking and talking to feel very sorry for himself, and that alone helped a lot.
When the two men finally stumbled into the houseboat, exhausted but nearly happy, they had worked up an appetite. It was almost time for breakfast, anyway, so a snack seemed in order.
“Hey, Mac, how about some of those famous banana pancakes?” Dalton wheedled.
MacGyver half grinned. “You read my mind, Jack.”
As MacGyver began to make preparations for cooking, Jack flipped through an old Sports Illustrated on the counter. He began to read an article on auto racing, and almost missed it when Mac spoke softly from the kitchen.
“She liked these, too.”
Jack wasn’t sure if he should respond, but he knew Mac was talking about Deborah.
When Jack hesitated, MacGyver continued speaking.
“Or at least she said she did…guess I’ll never know, huh?”
The batter was done now, and Mac ladled it onto the griddle.
A sizzling sound filled the room.
Jack still didn’t quite know what to say, so he stayed uncharacteristically quiet.
It was the right thing to do. MacGyver plodded on, as if oblivious to Jack.
“I mean, was everything a lie? I know she profiled me and came up with an identity that would get her close to me, but…dammit!”
A spatula clanged to the counter and batter flew everywhere. Mac’s eyes squeezed shut, and his entire body seemed to tense up, then freeze.
Jack was still quiet.
The smell of burning pancakes filled the room.
Mac’s eyes opened, and he snorted a small chuckle.
“Sorry about the pancakes, Jack.”
Finally, Jack’s voice returned. “No problem, compadre. There’s more batter. I’ll get it.”
Jack stood then and came around the bar into the kitchen. He bodily steered his friend to a bar stool and then retrieved the abandoned spatula.
It didn’t take long to scrape the burned flapjacks off the griddle and start new ones.
Jack understood why Mac had started talking while cooking. There was something about the simple task that made it easier to speak.
“You should be angry, you know. It’s ok.”
“Yeah.” MacGyver nodded absently, while staring into space.
“I mean, I can’t even imagine…”
“I don’t have to…”
“Yeah.”
“Still, if it was just her, I think I could handle it.”
Jack’s brow furrowed as he flipped two pancakes onto a plate and pushed them to MacGyver.
“What do you mean? Just her?”
MacGyver hesitated, then pushed on. “I don’t know…it’s just…why’d I fall for it?”
Jack sighed. “Oh, come on, Mac. The girl was gorgeous-Pete told me-it could have happened to any of us. She knew you inside and out. Knew what buttons to push. It was all her, amigo, not you. You didn’t do anything wrong. In fact, take some comfort from the fact that at least your part in this wasn’t a lie. You were as honest as the day is long. This was not your fault.”
“I know that, Jack…it’s just…”
“Just what?”
“Nothing.”
“No, there’s no ‘nothing’ now…what?”
MacGyver looked distinctly uncomfortable.
“Well...it’s just…I wanted to let her in.”
“Of course you did. Didn’t you hear what I just said? She worked it that way, man. Now eat your pancakes before they get cold.”
Mac begrudgingly shoveled a forkful of flapjack into his mouth and swallowed before speaking again.
“No, you don’t get it, Jack. I…god…it was nice…sometimes…I don’t know…I thought that maybe this was my chance to live a normal life. You know, settle down a bit.”
Jack’s eyebrows hit the ceiling and his eyes grew as large as the pancakes he’d just finished for himself.
“Whoa! What? You mean, settle down, settle down?”
MacGyver shrugged. “Yeah…I don’t know. I probably sound pathetic, but sometimes…don’t you ever want to, well, settle down, Jack? You know, a dog, a real house, maybe kids, a dog?”
Jack shuddered, but then sobered. “As much as it pains me to say it, yeah…sometimes.”
“We’re not as young as we used to be, Jack.”
“Ain’t it the truth? Still…come on, Mac…Jesus…this girl…she…oh, God…you really fell for her. It. Whatever. I’m so sorry, man…”
MacGyver laughed then, but there was no humor in it. His eyes shone with the slightest sheen of tears and it was a minute before he could speak again. Dalton looked away, uncomfortable.
“Yeah, well, she seemed so perfect, but you know what they say about things that look too good to be true, Jack.”
MacGyver continued to laugh, and the sound took on an almost hysterical, scary quality.
Jack continued to look away, his heart breaking for his friend. More words tumbled out of Mac, but they only barely made sense.
“It’s just…when do I get my turn? Just want…I don’t know…can’t figure out which way is up half the time…clever MacGyver, he’ll fix it…but can’t decide what to do with himself…average at everything…not great at anything…can’t stick with anything long…that’s me…oh, hell…and then you add Mike to all this…dammit!”
Jack Dalton’s head snapped to face front instantly. MacGyver cursed very rarely, and when he did it was usually mild, so the expletive got his attention, but it was the words before it that had shattered Jack’s resolve to not confront this highly emotional MacGyver.
“What’s Mike got to do with all this?”
MacGyver seemed to remember Jack was there for the first time in a while. His rant immediately stopped, and he seemed to be searching for an explanation for his words.
“Oh…it’s just that we just lost her…and adding that to this…”
Jack wasn’t buying it. Something about how Mac had looked when he realized he had mentioned Mike out loud and something in his nervous explanation just didn’t add up. There was more going on here than what appeared at first glance, and Jack knew it.
“I don’t think that’s what you meant, Mac…what’s Mike got to do with this?”
MacGyver leaned back on his stool and pushed his plate away. Jack took it and began eating Mac’s mostly untouched pancakes hungrily.
It was a long time before MacGyver spoke. So long that Jack had given up on more conversation.
“I never told you about what happened on the mountain.”
Jack mutely shook his head.
MacGyver swallowed the taste of bile in his throat and nodded slightly back.
“You know Mike and I, well…”
Jack interrupted. “Sorta had a thing?”
“Yeah. Well, she…” Mac took a deep breath before continuing. “She…right before she…fell…she told me she wanted to, um, try it out. That she wanted to be with me. Not as a friend.”
Jack’s heart plummeted to his toes. He felt the tiniest surge of jealousy, but it was quickly squashed, replaced by an overwhelming pain for his friend.
“Oh, man…”
“Yeah. And I pushed her away. She fell a few minutes later. There was nothing I could do. I rejected her the last time I ever spoke to her. She died thinking I…”
Jack interrupted again, and his voice took on a hard edge. “Hey. Stop it. Right now. Mike knew you loved her. We all did. Just…not like that. She knew that, Mac.”
“Yeah…but why couldn’t I have let her in? Why did I reject someone like Mike and accept De…”
MacGyver couldn’t finish the name. He looked down at the counter, and his breathing became hard and fast. Anger radiated from him like light from the sun.
So much anger.
Jack didn’t know what to say or do. Words seemed inadequate to express sympathy for this.
MacGyver spared him the need to talk by plowing on after a minute of silence.
“You said it yourself, Jack. I can’t let anyone in. Always been that way. I can’t help it. I pushed Mike back out of habit as much as anything else…and then…well, now she’s gone…”
Jack’s voice was barely a whisper as he responded. “Maybe that’s why Deborah was so appealing, Mac. Ever thought about that? A bit of a rebound effect?”
“Yeah. Maybe. It’s just…if I hadn’t been so stupid, so blind…if I had just let my guard down for one minute on the mountain, Mike would still be with us, and this other thing might never have happened. Mike and I might have worked, Jack-you always said it would-and then they wouldn’t have been able to get to me like this…”
MacGyver’s hands balled into fists and slammed once into the counter before coming up to rub wearily at his eyes. He ground his eyeballs so hard that Jack thought surely they would burst.
Suddenly, Jack Dalton’s distinct voice rang out in the silent house. It was strong and sure.
“MacGyver.”
Mac looked up, but did not speak.
“Mac, listen to me. I’m only going to say this once. You can’t change what happened on that mountain, and even if you could, there’s no guarantee it would make this situation any better. If somehow Mike was still here with us and you two were an item, the bad guys would have just gotten rid of you another way. You’d most likely be dead, and maybe Mike, too. While I’ll admit that that might be less painful for you, it’d be a hell of a lot more painful for me, and for Pete and Nikki and everyone else who cares about you, too, so I’ll hear no more of it. Capiche?”
MacGyver’s mouth moved up and down a few times, but his voice seemed to have left him.
Jack continued.
“And as for a ‘normal life’, well, comrade, this is your normal life. Mine, too. Do you really think you could give up the adventure and excitement of what you do? Honestly?”
MacGyver thought for a minute, then shook his head. “Probably not.”
“No probably to it, friend. You’d go nuts in a nine to five. And I know you. You’d take one if you had a family to worry about. So, guess what? This is it for now, so you might as well make the best of it. Now, I’m going to call Pete and let him know his wayward lamb has come home. Then I propose a nap, then maybe an afternoon of hockey practice for you to blow off some steam and more napping for me. What’cha think?”
Jack’s eyebrows waggled in his characteristic way, and MacGyver nearly smiled. He nodded, then stood and made his way to the bathroom.
When he returned, Jack was just hanging up the phone.
“Pete says hello and to take as much time as you need off. Nikki says not to scare her like that again. And I say I’m not so tired as I was a bit ago. Wanna watch some ‘Bonanza’?”
Jack held up a tape of the recorded Western, knowing it was one of MacGyver’s favorites.
MacGyver laughed. “Sure, Jack. Why not?”
The two men settled on the couch then and as the tape began to roll, they both grew quiet.
 "Now, come on, Pete! Look at me! I'm a hurtin' guy! I'm beat up! I need a month's worth of sleep! And I need a haircut!" MacGyver, 'Serenity'
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Great job , keep it coming ! 
