I'm going shopping for a new SAK this weekend. No idea what model I'm going to get. Everyone, quick, try to convince me to get the model you have!

Mac

Uh.... get the Climber.

Why?

Mac
not a climber

Why not?

I'm assuming you're not a Tinker either.

I'd consider myself something of a Tinker in the Irish sense, in that I have nomadic tendencies.

Mac

Well, there you have it. Get the Tinker.

But it has a few tools that I don't use, so I'm investigating other models. I guess I'll just do like the last time and spend an hour or two at the shop opening all the attachments on all the models.

I am seriously considering a USB knife, though.

My to do list for this weekend is mostly at home stuff, but at the top of my 'stuff to shop for' are the SAK and... duct tape. You know you're a MacGyver addict when...

Mac

Theres pictures of the SAKs with all the blades opened out in our Store. Might be give you some idea of what your after before you get to your local store.

Or you could just purchase online without even leaving your house.

There are some things I absolutely need to touch before I buy. One of the considerations with a SAK is its weight. I once hit someone in the head (by accident!) with my purse and their forehead collided with the SAK (a bigger model than the Super Tinker) inside. He cried.

Mac

Oh, and there's also the cost of shipping and our exhorbitant customs charges.

Mac

This guy arrives at the Pearly Gates. He has to wait to be admitted, while St. Pete leafs through his Big Book.

He's checking to see if the guy is worthy of entry or not. Saint Peter goes through the books several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, "You know, I can't see that you did lots of good in your life but, you never did anything bad either.

Tell you what, if you can tell me of one REALLY good deed that you did in your life, you're in."

The guy thinks for a moment and says, "Well, there was this one time when I was drivin' down the highway and I saw a Biker Gang assaulting this poor girl. I slowed down my car to see what was going on, and sure enough, that's what they were doing. There were about 50 of 'em torturing this chick.

Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron from my trunk and walked straight up to the leader of the gang. He was a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear. As I walked up to the leader, the Gang formed a circle all around me.

So I ripped the leader's chain off his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them, 'Leave this poor, innocent girl alone, you slime! You're all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain!'"

St. Peter, extremely impressed, says, "Really? Wow, when did all this happen?"

"Er.. about two minutes ago."

Thats terrible

*takes bow*

You and I would get along juuuuuust fine.



Two blondes meet in Heaven.

“How did you die?”, the first one asks.
”Oh! I died in a freezer,” the second blonde replied.” So how did you die?”
The second blonde asks, “Well, I suspected my husband was having an affair, so one day when I came home early from work, I looked all over the house, trying to look for the other woman because I saw that my husband was naked. When I coming upstairs from searching the basement, I slipped and broke my neck. I never got to find that woman,” replied the first blonde.
The second blonde then says, “If only you looked in the freezer, maybe we both might still have been alive!”

Mac

That's a good one.

Okay, I also will try one though I don't know whether it translates right. Here we go:

A woman bought a wardrobe for her sleeping room. But every time when the tram/trolley/streetcar/cable car (whatever you call it) came down the street the wardrobe fell to its pieces.

Finally she let come someone from the furniture shop. He said "I can't see it from outside, I have to step into the wardrobe to see where exactly it fells apart when the next tram comes." So he stepped into the wardrobe.

In the meantime, the women's husband came home and found the man in the wardrobe. "What are you doing in here?"

"You won't believe me, but I'm waiting for the tram!"

I'm guessing that didn't translate well.

Sure you won't understand the last line when you go everywhere by your own car

Well, maybe my English sucks, but I got it.

Um... maybe it did translate okay and I was just looking for a more deviant punchline.

Mac

At lest he didn't say tramp

Rocky, you are so devious!

So, have y'all heard the one about the aeroplane?

*shakes head* Never mind, it's over your head.

Mac

An Englishman, a Welshman and an Irishman were at the fair and about to go on the helter-skelter when an old crone steps in front of them.

"This is a magic ride," she says. "You will land in whatever you shout out on the way down."

"I'm game for this," says the Welshman and slides down the helter-skelter shouting "GOLD!" at the top of his voice. Sure enough, when he hit the bottom he found himself surrounded by thousands of pounds worth of gold coins.

The Englishman goes next and shouts "SILVER!" at the top of his voice. At the bottom he lands in more silver coinage than he can carry.

The Irishman goes last and, launching himself from the top of the slide shouts "WEEEEEEE!"

I judt got nack from a night out.

Caz Dance Tour was in town tonight and I had such a great time. /Ferry Corsten is so cute. I met him in real life and when he smiles he gets these dimples in his cheeks.
Next to that he's a brilliant DJ.

Anyaway I'm s little tipsy to respond to the joke of Sluggie, so I will try tomorrow morning (Iactually spelled "dipsy" and "Dluggie" but I noticed in time)

Goodnight to all!!

What the h...???? this dancinf muppet keeps showing up while I'm not even "asking" for it???

Btw, I'm not sure I'm gettinfg your joke Sluggie (what makes it even more funny in my state of.... well, ... being -Don't block me, I'm no MEP, just had a few beers, that's all!!!!)

Maybe posting on here while drunk isn't such a good idea?

OK, one of my favorite jokes:

Seems a rich man died and arrived at the Pearly Gates. Now, you can't just waltz into Heaven; you have to review your life to the angel standing there while St. Peter listens, and then St. Peter renders judgement on whether you can enter Heaven.

So the angel looked up the man in his book and says, "Why, you never did no good for nobody nohow... why are you even standing here?"

The man said, "Now, wait a minute, I've given to charity. Twenty years ago, I was walking down the street, saw a homeless man, and gave him a quarter."

The angel said, "Well, that's nice, but that alone won't cut it."

The man answered, "Well, ten years ago, I was riding along in my limo, when I saw a poor woman holding a sign on the corner, and I rolled down my window and gave her a quarter."

The angel said, "Maybe so, but that doesn't make up for a lifetime of greed."

"But don't you see," the man pleaded, "I have a consistent record here. Just last Christmas Eve, I came out of church, and, filled with the Christmas spirit, I walked across the street and put a quarter in the Salvation Army kettle."

At this point, the angel threw up his hands, turned to St. Peter, and said, "What in God's name are we going to do with this man?"

St. Peter scowled and said in his thunderous voice, "Give him back his seventy-five cents and tell him to go to hell."

Anyone else have more BAAAAAD jokes?

Mac

* Why were the suspenders arrested?















* For holding up a pair of pants.

Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was assulted.