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|MacGyver Online Forums > MacGyvering Your Life > Manners and Courtesy Cost Nothing|
|Posted by: KiwiTek 26 October 2012 - 08:36 PM|
| This is something which is in rapid demise in our real world, yet is seen in abundance in MacGyver, and indeed in people of that and earlier generations. It's something I consciously make my kids aware of because it's about basic respect. Things like stopping to let someone go through a door ahead of you instead of pushing in first; standing aside to let less-able people, prams, trolleys, etc get past you, even letting someone with a small amount of items go through a check out ahead of you when you have a full trolley of groceries. These are all things that I personally don't see at all in today's generation because they are entirely focused on themselves and I think that's the key point; Manners and courtesy are about thinking of other people either equally or ahead of yourself. This was a big part of the MacGyver mind set and I think it's a good way of improving ourselves and any other generation we have influence over.
There's another aspect to this which I'm very mindful of and that's have the courtesy to stop and lend a hand. One scene from MacGyver which really highlights this point for me is when MacGyver is in his painting class in the Negotiator and Deborah knocks her brushes over. MacGyver immediately stopped painting to help pick them up. He didn't even stop to look at who he was picking them up for; It was just his instinct to help. Another really good example of courtesy is in the pilot episode when MacGyver and Barbara are running through the airlocks as they are closing on them (I think) and MacGyver paused to make sure she had gone through before he did which is the old "Ladies before Gentlemen" idea but again back to my previous point of letting others through the door ahead of you.
I often think of those two scenes and the old saying that Manners cost you nothing. And it's so true. There is absolutely nothing to lose from pausing to let someone walk through a door ahead of you, or to say please and thank you, but there is something to gain. You gain respect and appreciation of others around you who will see you as a decent human being - and the internal gratification of knowing your a decent human being.
|Posted by: M.C. Wolfcat 27 October 2012 - 05:54 AM|
| I totally agree with you.
See it way less than in the old days.
I'm aged 21 now and sometimes i wish i was older.
Ever heard the way some kids talk to their elders??
No respect at all!
|Posted by: Mac1977 27 October 2012 - 06:04 AM|
| I agree too, and that's one of the main things why i like MacGyver.
Today's kids should watch MacGyver more.
|Posted by: Mela_007 27 October 2012 - 07:38 PM|
| Thank you KiwiTek for bringing this up!! I think Manners and Coutesy are tremendously important!! I was raised and taught manners which I still use today. My biggest pet peeve is lack of manners or common courtesy by others around me. I do see it rampant in the younger folks and kids. I am just amazed by the absolute lack of it that I see so often. Just going to a high school football game demonstrates this lack. I sit in the stands or try to get to my seat just flabbergasted by how few manners I see sometimes!!
I think that is another big reason I like MacGyver. He has manners and shows common courtesy often. I would have trouble listing the times in the episodes where I notice MacGyver's manners! Nearly every episode has some. A Sir or Ma'am, a please or thank you, helping someone commonly, I could go on. For example, I watched the "Obsessed" episode again today and noticed when MacGyver stood up and helped Pete take a seat on the couch in his loft. Just a simple act, but another example of those manners which are becoming more and more rare in today's world...sadly.
|Posted by: KiwiTek 28 October 2012 - 12:31 AM|
| Another example I've started to notice recently, and I'm not sure if this is just a kiwi thing or world wide, but when parents are talking to their kids about another adult they call the adult by their first name instead of Mr, Mrs, Ms etc. I actually saw an example of this yesterday when my neighbor had visitors and the visitor told her child to go and say "thank you" to Ken for letting you play here instead of "Go and say Thank You to Mr --- for letting you play here."
When I was a kid I would have been kicked in the pants for calling an adult by their first name.
|Posted by: Mela_007 28 October 2012 - 05:50 AM|
|KiwiTek, I'm not sure if it is regional where I live or the new generation. I was always taught Mr/Mrs "last name" while I lived in the Midwest US, but here in the southern US I hear a lot of Mr Ken. Using the Mr but still the first name. Also down here they drill "Yes Sir/Ma'am" into a child but don't seem to bother with please, thank you, or excuse me.|
|Posted by: MacGyverGod 28 October 2012 - 03:41 PM|
| We are getting so used by keeping to ourselves and minding our own business that we are forgetting there are others around us. One problem I notice in today's society is that if you're trying to help out other often will mock you for it. Maybe not the person you're helping out but another person, who could've done the same but simply didn't bother.
It indeed cost nothing and you might gain selfrespect or respect and appreciation from others, but in today's society's mentality... you can kiss goodbye to that. Everybody complains about everything. The least thing is enough to start ranting about or to call the police.
When it comes to manners and courtesy... there's a huge lack of that everywhere. I work in a clothing shop and I really notice that on crowded days. You have difficult customers of course but if there's one thing that really makes my blood boil it's customers with children. It's a very big shop and it happened before children losing their parents or children running/playing/screaming/crying around. And of course as part of the staff, you have to remain polite. But it can really make me furious. The parents don't look after their children the way it should and the children are acting like everything is allowed. They're running between racks like their lives depend on it, they crawl under it from one to another, parents don't care.
Whatever happened to setting your kids straight?
|Posted by: KiwiTek 28 October 2012 - 10:41 PM|
That's a southern thing isn't it? I'm sure I've heard that in movies and TV shows taking place in some Southern US areas.
|Posted by: M.C. Wolfcat 29 October 2012 - 01:44 AM|
I know what you mean.
I don't have anything against using Mrs/Mr "first name", but nowadays they don't bother with the Mr or the Mrs part.
I was tawt that you show respect this way and it just drilled itself into me. Unless it's someone i know well i'll use their name.
I was once really taken aback at a family gathering. I met my nephews for the first time, they didn't know my name and i'm like twice their age and they called my a "girl"????
|Posted by: Mela_007 29 October 2012 - 04:53 AM|
|I think it is a regional thing here in south US. It doesn't bother me, there is still the added respect shown with the mr/ms part. What annoys me is I will hear parents really get onto a child that does not say sir or ma'am when speaking to an adult, but the rest of the child's manners are not checked at all.|
|Posted by: MacGyverGod 31 October 2012 - 03:35 PM|
| Yet again today, some great examples of how not to raise your children. It's more crowded now the shop due to the beginning of the skiing season. (I wonder if Mac still ski and if he need some new stuff. ) Sometimes, I would just like to grab a kid and tell him to behave when he's not behaving. Too many parents in my opinion are also lacking in saying that. A little too much it happens that they say: "if you don't behave, I'll get angry." I was thinking: 'Just get angry already.' I think I wouldn't be very Mac-ish as a father. I think I'd be much much more strict. Depending on the age maybe.
Like the topic title: manners and courtesy cost nothing. Just a little effort maybe.
You know, Rush To Judgment has a very fine example of courtesy. In the beginning when they're on the bus, MacGyver, the old lady and the man are discussing Danby's case. When the man claims he knows enough on the case, the old lady points out (can't exactly remember what it was) he actually shouldn't rush to judgment because of skin color I think. She than says: 'Isn't that right, MacGyver?' And he later replies with 'Mrs...' whatever her name was. It shows respect for an elder person.
|Posted by: Mela_007 2 November 2012 - 01:39 PM|
|I agree that Rush to Judgement is a great example of MacGyver's manners. Especially the added respect shown to the Judge when he answered his direct questions both in the Jury box and in the hallway. He concluded each answer with a "Sir". Even Pete did not add the "Sir" to his direct answers to the Judge's questions.|
|Posted by: MacGyverGod 11 December 2012 - 03:19 PM|
| In the past few days I noticed that manners and courtesy can give a certain amount of satisfaction. Like Kiwi pointed out on how MacGyver immediately picked up paint brushes for Deborah in The Negotiator, I experienced something a like. I was walking through the tunnel of the station couple of days ago and I noticed this woman who dropped a glove from her purse. She just continued walking until she realized she lost a glove. I saw it, walked towards it and picked it up when she retraced her steps. I gave it back to her and she repayed me with a genuine smile and a thank you.
I don't even know why I picked it up, it happened automatically. Usually I don't look at this kind of things. Or I do but I don't react, I just keep walking minding my own business. But it felt pretty good.
|Posted by: KiwiTek 12 December 2012 - 03:33 AM|
Great story! Really emphasizes that just knowing you've done the right thing and/or helped someone is reward in itself.
Manners and courtesy are self rewarding.
MacGyver would be proud.
|Posted by: indiana9310 6 March 2013 - 09:19 AM|
|Growing up my parents made sure that manners and courtesies were ingrained into me. My parents were only to happy to let me watch MacGyver for a multitude of reasons, but one because the show had the main character (hero) having real human emotions and shown him that being a hero does not mean you have to be gruff and rude. I think it helped me to realize that helping people is more of a noble notion than that of ignoring situations and believing that someone else can take care of it or let it be an others problem. For the last 18 years, since age 20, I have served as a public servant in one way or another. I find it rewarding to serve and help others. I partly can thank the MacGyver show helping to reinforce what my parents had taught me, which now I am teaching my children.|
|Posted by: YopeGyver 14 March 2013 - 06:01 PM|
| Too true! At 17, I'm very ashamed of my generation. Courtesy, and basically common sense and intelligence, seem to be slowly dropping out of sight.
My parents have taught me well and I hold courtesy as a sort of honor that we all must practice and uphold.
|Posted by: Mela_007 14 March 2013 - 06:22 PM|
| Good for you Yope! Show those around you how they should act by seeing the courtesy in you!!
I think my manners and courtesy came from my parents in two different ways. Yes, they taught us and required manners from us, but I think a lot of it came from just watching my parents. I often find myself helping someone in just little ways. I don't even think about it most of the time, but it does feel good when you get that thankful smile from them. Just something as simple as reaching something down from an upper shelf for a shorter person at a store as one example. I guess a lot of the time I just try to treat others how I want to be treated too.
|Posted by: YopeGyver 14 March 2013 - 06:28 PM|
| I'm one of those short people (5 feet) and boy, I can express how grateful I am to someone who reaches up and helps me out.
Exactly! Treat others the way you'd like to be treated!
|Posted by: MacGyverGod 15 March 2013 - 01:52 AM|
|Manners and courtesy comes down to one thing for sure: help out when you can help out.|
|Posted by: AussieMacFan 15 March 2013 - 08:07 PM|
| My mum always tells me, "Manners cost nothing but they get you a lot."
It's true and a good thing to remember.
|Posted by: Daisy8577 16 March 2013 - 02:46 AM|
| I have to agree with everyone on this. I am 35 yrs old and I still address people I have known for many years as Mr./Mrs. It truly is a generational thing. Kids these days are sadly not taught manners like we were. My husband still opens the door for me and anyone else.
I can't tell you the last time I heard a child say please, thank you, or excuse me.
I don't have kids right now, but they will be watching MacGyver when they are older.
|Posted by: KiwiTek 16 March 2013 - 04:54 AM|
| I remember as a kid at school when we had to line up to go to the library or into our classroom the girls line always went in before the boys. Subconsciously it was teaching us that girls go before boys. These days it's called sexual discrimination by the PC brigade and so we lose yet another of our humanities to bloody-minded stupidity of the weak and spineless who, for some reason, we have allowed to control our society.
|Posted by: Daisy8577 16 March 2013 - 05:24 AM|
|Now that you mention about lining up the girls first, then the boys, it was that way when I was a lid too. In my mind PC has gone too far and it doesn't teach kids anything anymore.|
|Posted by: KiwiTek 16 March 2013 - 01:18 PM|
| Yeah I agree. It's at a point now where it's causing more harm then good to our society.
|Posted by: YopeGyver 16 March 2013 - 01:46 PM|
|Agreed. I'm lucky, blessed I should say, to be homeschooled. The things that go on in public schools nowadays are atrocious!|
|Posted by: Mela_007 23 August 2013 - 01:51 PM|
| Things have gotten so bad between the PC contious and the Security contious that now it's "wrong" for us to show our manners?? For example, at work there is a new rule in place for the contractors at the facility (I'm not a contractor). They were told they are not allowed to let anyone "piggy-back" on their access card when entering the building. I am very security contious and I have no problem with that part when it comes to visitors, vendors, or any other unknown person. However, they are including their co-workers in this directive.
So, I was stopped along with 2 other co-workers by a person who would not allow us to go through the door after they had opened the security lock. I would understand if it were a regulation that we all had to swipe our card for the system to recognize that we were there, but that is not the case. She just made us wait until the door re-secured and we had to use our card to open it. Then the next day I was trying to hold the door open for this same lady as I was exiting and she was entering and she stopped, held up her hands, and said "I'm sorry I cannot piggy-back". So I let go of the door and walked off.
Is it just me??? Am I just crazy? I mean, now it's wrong to hold a door open for someone I work down the hall from 52 weeks a year???
|Posted by: Rocket 23 August 2013 - 11:29 PM|
Sounds like paranoia and/or fear of authority overriding manners to me!
No, you're not crazy
|Posted by: Mela_007 24 August 2013 - 11:18 AM|
|Thanks Rocket, sometimes I have to wonder if it's just me (or the rest of us Mac fans) that must be wacky for thinking manners are important. I just need to learn to let it roll off my back and pick my battles, I suppose.|
|Posted by: Rocket 24 August 2013 - 12:23 PM|
I don't think it's just us, but we're definitely not in the majority any more...
Interestingly, it's often the roughest/scariest looking people who have the best manners
|Posted by: Mela_007 25 August 2013 - 02:48 PM|
|True. I hadn't thought about that, but you're right. Sometimes it's the sweetest looking that are the rudest of all. Sad that we're not in the majority anymore, but I believe you're right there too.|
|Posted by: denizen 15 October 2013 - 03:10 AM|
| Admirable that all of you feel that way. In truth, i am exactly the same. The problem is that society has changed since the 1980's. TV is grittier, more violent & slapped in your face. People tend to push further than before when it comes to selling something.
The youth of today are subjected to this. Not every show that you watch on TV ends off with a smile on your face. Even technology itself has made us introverts. We hide behind a screen or mobile phone. We don't mingle anymore.
It's sad because back in the day, my family used to go out all the time, no matter where it was. Point is, you met people, you spent time with them. Nowadays, people do not trust anyone. They are believers of deceipt simply because they have been exposed to it through social or news media. We are more careful about what we do and who we do it with.
Even movies that carry an apparent PG 13 or PG 16 are right off the charts. I would NEVER let my kid watch some of his stuff when he reaches that age. I personally feel that censorship has taken a vacation and this is one problem.
An ever changing society means that it is now our responsibility to pass our wisdom to our next generation, reminding them that the future does not always carry all the answers. Despite the simplicity of today's assistance with technology, charging your mental backup battery for an inevidable power outage is a prerequisite.
|Posted by: Dennman 18 July 2015 - 11:07 AM|
| Great topic! One of the characteristics of Mac has always been his manners and politeness. Something you really don't see much today in society or current heroic television or movie characters. Reminds me of a few months ago I was in line at a sandwich shop and the person in front of me with her kid was extremely rude to the employee behind the counter. I kept thinking this young child may be influenced by this behavior as though it's acceptable to disrespect others. I could never picture MacGyver throwing a tantrum because the worker didn't put enough olives on his sandwich, especially in front of a kid. He'd either politely ask for more, or just not let it bother him. Either way he'd keep his cool.
I wonder if today in elementary or high schools, students still address their teachers by Mrs. or Mr? We did when I was a kid, all the way through college. Also with smart phones and other devices everywhere I wonder just how teachers and families are teaching children respect, politeness and manners?
|Posted by: MacGyverGod 18 July 2015 - 03:42 PM|
| I really can't imagine teachers and students being on a first name basis. One thing that baffled always on these teen shows is that teacher also refers to the kids as Mr. and Ms. In Belgium we always refer to the teacher as Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. In elementary school we were allowed to use their first name as long as we said Mrs. or Ms. The male teachers we had to use their last names. The teacher always used our first names in class.
The problem is that manners and courtesy are become stranger and stranger. Nobody understands that anymore and nobody listens anymore either. If you are being (too) nice, peoples will run over you, if you are being rude, you're the jerk. This is just the way things are now and it's going to get a lot worse.
|Posted by: Joe SAKic 18 July 2015 - 05:36 PM|
| We're slowly regressing back to primates as far as communications / interpersonal skills are concerned.
For example, I still greet people buy saying 'Good Morning', 'Good Afternoon', 'Good Evening' to each and all and depending on the time of day. But I'm a dinosaur, a fossil for that and you'd might as well be wearing a Bowler hat and carry a swagger stick to utter such strange words in this day and age.
It may sound like a simple courteous intro .... but in fact it's becoming so rare that one clerk in a store replied 'how interesting?' when I opened with a 'Good Afternoon!' recently. How interesting???????? Yup, most people just greet each other with a contracted 'Hi' these days that sounds a lot more like a wild animal grunting than an actual humanoid.
|Posted by: KiwiTek 18 July 2015 - 05:40 PM|
Well I know my son is required to call his teachers Mr, Mrs, Ms when addressing them.
I think teachers calling students Mr, Miss, etc is an American thing. I've only ever seen it in American TV shows. I think the idea is that it shows respect for the work that the students have put in to be able to get into university?
|Posted by: Barry Rowland 18 July 2015 - 05:46 PM|
|Maybe, just maybe, we dinosaurs can pass enough of the old ways along to the new generation to keep basic communication and civility alive. I marvel at how things have changed in the retail world. When I worked in it in the mid 80's-early 90's, you were looking for a new job if you didn't greet and assist customers. Not now....how things have changed.|
|Posted by: Joe SAKic 18 July 2015 - 06:06 PM|
| Barry, I think part of that is because it's become considered more and more 'risky business' for kids to practice their communications skills in this day and age. Too many weirdoes about and thus they(kids) are getting a much later start at this aspect of communications.
When we were young, we were encouraged (made) to greet grownup strangers on the street with a look in the eyes, & a friendly hello or 'Good Day' etc. Nowadays, many kids are taught not to talk to strangers at all and thus they (must) become retarded in certain aspects of their communication skills .... having to turn it on 'suddenly' in their teen years or later. Like learning a new language, that might be too late for some/many .....
|Posted by: Maclover 21 October 2015 - 01:46 PM|
| I completely agree with this thread. I was brought up to mind my P's and Q's and I try to instil the same in my kids (now teens). I will confess that I am not quite so restrained as our lovely Mac, and occasionally resort to mild cussing, but normally only to myself - if I've dropped something, hurt myself or have reached a certain level of frustration with myself over an inability to do something (I was on a climbing wall the other night about half way up and 'stuck' and was pleased the lads had the music going at ground level!!). However, I have a certain level of language that I will not break - I just will not use certain words - even to myself and I try not use any bad language in front of another person or even worse to describe another person. I also def. won't let my kids do this either. They come home and tell me that they hear other students using the 'really bad' words as 'regular' language - They don't need me to tell them that similar language had better never come home - I know it never would.
The daft thing is that good behaviour is so easily instilled if it is started young and kids never know any different. It is amazing how many parents seem to fail in this though. There is nothing remotely high class about my family or my life, but I just think it is correct for me to bring the kids up so they can behave 'properly' anywhere. They both know about general manners, about opening doors esp. for their elders, and offering to help in strange houses and locations, i.e. with the dishes at mealtimes, they know how to deal with several layers of cutlery at a table should it ever be encountered, I've taught my son about seating a lady at a table and helping with her coat, opening car doors. I must admit in the UK, we don't tend to use Sir and Ma'am as they do partic. in the Southern states, but I must admit I always notice when I hear it and appreciate the courtesy when it is used to me, and it is always a useful polite fall-back when you don't know someone's name and need to refer to them. I also pick examples of good manners when I see it on the TV and point it out to them. As a result I have two young people that are regularly commented on and welcome wherever I take them. As I noted above - was this outcome the result of huge effort? Of course it wasn't - so little effort for such a huge gain it amazes me that not all young people are raised similarly.
|Posted by: uniquelyjas 1 May 2017 - 03:36 PM|
| I just came across this thread and agree with absolutely EVERYTHING that's been said so far. Not sure I could add much! Growing up, I was taught to call close friends of my parents by Aunt___ or Uncle___. I was an only child in a small family. In retrospect, this wasn't such a good idea as it took me years to figure out I wasn't actually related to these people!!! Neighbors, etc. were always Mr. and Mrs. I was born in 1970 by the way. OK, just thought of a story to share. I did my student teaching at my old grade school. One of my teachers was still working there. As a colleague, I could have easily called her "Gloria" but I could NOT bring myself do to that. To this day, we exchange Christmas cards. She signs her name "Gloria", but I still write "Dear Ms._____" at the top!!!
Watching MacGyver as an adult I've noticed his manners, chivalry, etc. It probably sounds corny, but, even though I consider myself a polite, thoughtful person, I watch these shows now and think that I need to be more like Mac!
|Posted by: MacGyversGirl4Ever 6 February 2018 - 08:52 PM|
|Being a teenager entering into the adult world I can definitely vouch that common courtesy is becoming less of a commodity and more of a chore. Everyone is trying to get to their destination without interruptions and looking out for #1. I try my best to practice kindness as much as possible and I wish that others my age and younger did too.|
|Posted by: Dragondog 7 March 2018 - 04:11 PM|
| I agree, manners and courtesy really need to make a comeback.
I try to be polite, and practice my own manners whenever possible. Sometimes it's a little tough, not because I don't care, but because I'm SO painfully shy and socially awkward. I'm good until I have to talk to someone.
I think on the first-name-basis, it kinda depends. I call close friends of the family by their first names, but it really depends on how they're introduced to me. "This is Mr./Mrs.-" would probably cause me to call them by those titles unless they told me otherwise.
I think a lot of it has to do with how people raise their kids, too. I've seen plenty of families at my church whose kids are very well-behaved for their age, even if they are a little rambunctious (they're kids, after all). But I used to live next door to this family who was a ROYAL pain in the neck, to say the least. Everyone, from the adults to the kids, would constantly use some pretty R rated words some twenty times per sentence, loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear.
|Posted by: beth 5 April 2018 - 07:36 PM|
|We had a rule in our house when my kids were growing up. If they wanted something they had to say "please" or they didn't get it. If they didn't say "thank you" after receiving the item then it was taken away. They are now 26 & 27 and they still stay "please" and "thank you". The same rule applies to my 9 year old grandson.|
|Posted by: AmigaDeVenezuela 1 January 2019 - 10:01 AM|
| I talk to a lot of people, from 18 years old to 80 something years old, every day at my job. It amazes me how some of them talk to me. Some of the 18 year olds are more respectful than the ones that are 80. Others need to improve their vocabulary. I've found that to be most common with the 50 to 60 year old range. I would be ashamed of myself for talking to a person I do not know in such a manner.
Even my own co-workers lack manners. Some one had dropped a gift card on the ground. I didn't know if it had anything on it. A co-worker was going in to the building so I asked them to take it to HR and they would find the owner of the card. She wasn't going to at first. She was going to keep it for herself. I told her that it's not yours and told her again to take it to HR. She told me, the next day, that she did what I asked her to do and told me that it was a Christmas gift for one of our co-worker's child. She's my age. I should have had to tell her to do the right. I guess it is either how she was raised or not listening to your parents when they tried to teach manners.
|Posted by: MacGyverOnline 1 January 2019 - 02:36 PM|
| The biggest problem is breaking the cycle.
Children copy their parents and then become parents themselves who teach their kids the same behavior, and on it goes.... and now America has a President who embodies all the worst behaviors making them acceptable and the standard.... so there's not much hope... for a while at least.
|Posted by: Dragondog 1 January 2019 - 07:26 PM|
|Can't give up hoping, or trying. That's what MacGyver would say|
|Posted by: MacGyverGod 2 January 2019 - 04:11 AM|
| It's the current society mentality. Politeness is no longer what it used to be. On one hand you might be surprised on how people still are polite or could be polite. On the other hand, there always the sour pusses.
Treat others the way you want to be treated yourself, isn't that the old expression?
|Posted by: zoeryan 2 January 2019 - 09:27 AM|
Unfortunately he literally got elected by people who think saying whatever you think with no regard to anyone else (or to the truth) is somehow progress or refreshing. Is it any wonder Be Best is not working for them.
All I can say is I agree, it will be wonderful when decorum and civility and truth are once again in the White House, regardless of party.
As far as Sirs and Mams/Mr. and Mrs. that is very much cultural/regional. The words don't make politeness, politeness makes politeness
|Posted by: Dragondog 2 January 2019 - 06:45 PM|
|Posted by: Mac2Nite 5 January 2019 - 01:23 PM|