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Mac |
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QUOTE (MacNymph @ 1 June 2007 - 04:25 PM) | OMG!! EWWWWWWWWWW! |
(This thread is getting to be sooooooooooooooooo disgusting. ) My second favourite joke: What happened when Batman and Robin got run over by the Batmobile? w a i t f o r i t They became Flatman and Ribbon! Mac
"John Sheppard (writer) sent Richard Dean Anderson to Atlantis on MacGyver and Richard Dean Anderson sent John Sheppard (character) to Atlantis on Stargate. My fandoms are getting to be confusing."
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MacNymph |
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A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch. The seaman asks "So, how did you end up with the peg leg?" The pirate replies "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off" "Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"? "Well,", replied the pirate, "we were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off." "Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eyepatch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate. "You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously. "Well,", said the pirate, "it was my first day with the hook."
~ MacNymph ~
Sometimes the uncontrollable urge to mess with people outweighs the millstone of humility.
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MacNymph |
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Phoenix Special Agent
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QUOTE (Mac @ 2 June 2007 - 08:52 AM) | QUOTE (MacNymph @ 1 June 2007 - 04:36 PM) | "Well,", said the pirate, "it was my first day with the hook." |
My third favourite joke!!! |
That's funny in and of itself! Two guys were sitting outside a medical clinic. One of them was crying, tears were pouring down his face. The other man asked, " Why are you crying?" The first one replied, " I came here for blood test." The second one asked, "So? Why are you crying? Are you afraid?" The first guy replied, "No. Not that. During the blood test they cut my finger." Hearing this, the second one started crying. The first one was astonished and asked the other, "Why are you crying?" Then the second guy replied, "I have come for my urine test."
~ MacNymph ~
Sometimes the uncontrollable urge to mess with people outweighs the millstone of humility.
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MacNymph |
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Phoenix Special Agent
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This guy arrives at the Pearly Gates. He has to wait to be admitted, while St. Pete leafs through his Big Book.
He's checking to see if the guy is worthy of entry or not. Saint Peter goes through the books several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, "You know, I can't see that you did lots of good in your life but, you never did anything bad either.
Tell you what, if you can tell me of one REALLY good deed that you did in your life, you're in."
The guy thinks for a moment and says, "Well, there was this one time when I was drivin' down the highway and I saw a Biker Gang assaulting this poor girl. I slowed down my car to see what was going on, and sure enough, that's what they were doing. There were about 50 of 'em torturing this chick.
Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron from my trunk and walked straight up to the leader of the gang. He was a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear. As I walked up to the leader, the Gang formed a circle all around me.
So I ripped the leader's chain off his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them, 'Leave this poor, innocent girl alone, you slime! You're all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain!'"
St. Peter, extremely impressed, says, "Really? Wow, when did all this happen?"
"Er.. about two minutes ago."
~ MacNymph ~
Sometimes the uncontrollable urge to mess with people outweighs the millstone of humility.
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Mac |
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DXS Agent
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QUOTE (MacNymph @ 1 June 2007 - 07:39 PM) | *takes bow* |
You and I would get along juuuuuust fine. Two blondes meet in Heaven. “How did you die?”, the first one asks. ”Oh! I died in a freezer,” the second blonde replied.” So how did you die?” The second blonde asks, “Well, I suspected my husband was having an affair, so one day when I came home early from work, I looked all over the house, trying to look for the other woman because I saw that my husband was naked. When I coming upstairs from searching the basement, I slipped and broke my neck. I never got to find that woman,” replied the first blonde. The second blonde then says, “If only you looked in the freezer, maybe we both might still have been alive!” Mac
"John Sheppard (writer) sent Richard Dean Anderson to Atlantis on MacGyver and Richard Dean Anderson sent John Sheppard (character) to Atlantis on Stargate. My fandoms are getting to be confusing."
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MacGyverGod |
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Director of Intelligence
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QUOTE | Two blondes meet in Heaven.
“How did you die?”, the first one asks. ”Oh! I died in a freezer,” the second blonde replied.” So how did you die?” The second blonde asks, “Well, I suspected my husband was having an affair, so one day when I came home early from work, I looked all over the house, trying to look for the other woman because I saw that my husband was naked. When I coming upstairs from searching the basement, I slipped and broke my neck. I never got to find that woman,” replied the first blonde. The second blonde then says, “If only you looked in the freezer, maybe we both might still have been alive!”
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That's a good one.
I think the poison that was used was applied to this knife, passed to the mutton when it was cut and then activated by the wine. - MacGyver. Sometimes you just have to die a little inside to be reborn and rise again as a stronger and wiser version of you. It's better to be a little sad than to be fake content.
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Sheepy |
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Well, maybe my English sucks, but I got it.
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