Ponderisms
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Can you add some more?

When you haven't backed up your hard drive for a while, your computer's going to crash.

Never tell you Mom you're bored. They always have more chores for you to do.

It always rains when you water the garden.

It always rains when you wash the car.

A thunderstorm always comes when you're out somewhere and left the computer plugged it, especially when you haven't backed your hard drive up in a while. (See top of page)

The computer always locks up when you haven't saved your work, especially if it's something important.

While in traffic, the lane you change to always becomes the slowest, no matter how fast it was moving a split second ago.

ANY line you get on to will become the slowest! The line at the bank, supermarket, ticket line for ball game...etc... ad nauseum.....

The food you fixed for dinner is your child's favorite.......until you put it on the table.


The weatherman is only accurate predicting the storm the day you forget your coat.


The toy your child insisted he wants is not what he wants on Christmas day.

If you dress for snow, it will be sunny and hot. If you dress for noce weather, it will snow.

The chances of stopping at every traffic light in town rises proportionally with the importance of the appointment you are late for.

You only get hiccups when gving a formal presentation in front of a group of people.

You will always spill food on the front of your shirt if its a light colored shirt.

Since bread is square, then why is bologna round?

Why is there a light in the refrigerator and not in the freezer?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

and my personal favorite:
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

...not very original... but hey! I don't have many ponderisms in my life. Except I agree with Tygr about the computer.

My dog loves to have someone blow in her face. Goofy dog...

When dropped, bread will always land sticky side down, especially if you have just washed the kitchen floor.

The new sweater you bought that was supposed to be pre-shrunk, isn't.

One size fits all, doesn't.

The toy you bought your kid for Christmas requires a special type of battery, you don't have that kind, and that is the only toy your kid wants to play with on Christmas Day.

You only get a run in your pantyhose if they are your last pair and you are late for work.

The power goes out right before you save your ten page report.

It always rains when you have a large outdoor event planned.

A product can be available in large numbers until you're ready to buy it. (Still don't have Macgyver Season III )

The one program that will do what you need is trialware (You can only use trialware for 30 days, unless you pay for it.)

Your computer is always too slow, no matter how new it is.

What does XP stand for, anyway?

The price of gas rises proportional to how badly you need it.

If you find an item (example: clothing/underwear, makeup/lipstick, etc...) that you really, really like... they (TPTB) will stop manufacturing it. I call this "The Kiss of Doom" syndrome...

Swimsuits come in 2 sizes, too big and too small.


The price of gas always rises right before you take a long road trip.


A spouse is always late coming home from work when you need him/her to help around the house.


The spouse that is late always leaves his/her cell phone turnedd off so you can't find him/her.

Why does it take only one careless match to start a forest fire, but the entire box to start a campfire?

The most important task of the day is always the one you'll forget about.

You always lose an important item when you're running late, but always seem to find it right away when you're not.

Multiplayer matches always last longer when you have to meet someone and said, "just one more quick match". - This actually happened to me last night. XD

If Google Earth lets you see anywhere in the world, why do you always use it to look at your house?