I rated this part R, for some torture descriptions. I tried something new, where flashbacks are in italics, along with Mac's thoughts. Oh, and one more thing--given the recent hoopla and hype surrounding the possibility of a MacGyver movie and casting, I would just like to say that the part of MacGyver in my stories is
always played by RDA--accept no substitutions, imitations, or imposters!
Shattered Survivor Part Two
Rated: R (torture descriptions)
El Diablo’s menacing shadow stood over MacGyver, laughing and holding a heavy mallet. Without warning, he smashed the mallet against MacGyver’s right ankle, splintering the bones into jagged fragments that pierced his skin and nerves, the pain unbearable and excruciating… MacGyver released an agonized cry and thrashed around on his hospital bed as the memory of his intense, inescapable pain returned, his right ankle throbbing again with increased vengeance.
“Easy, easy,” A woman’s soothing voice said, holding him, trying to prevent him from injuring himself further. “It’s all right. You’re all right now. It’s going to be fine.”
Opening his eyes, the woman’s image was blurred at first, but soon his vision focused and he saw that it was Kay.
“Expert rider, huh?” She asked, grinning sideways. “You know, you’re lucky those horses know the way home. When I saw Sadie return, galloping wildly, alarmed, and in a state of complete shock, I knew something had happened to you, so I organized a search party to find you. You were bit by a rattlesnake.”
Groggily, MacGyver looked down at the new source of pain in his right ankle, heavily bandaged. “Story of my life,” he said weakly, smiling faintly and looking around the familiar territory of the hospital.
Kay watched him with deep concern. “If the rescuers hadn’t located you when they did, you might have died or lost your leg. I’ve seen some of the horses suffer from rattlesnake bites before. Their venom causes tissue damage. Your ankle was already pretty badly bruised and swollen when they found you. The doctor had to quickly administer antivenom to stop the progression of the toxin. He told me you’re going to recover just fine. As I said, you were lucky.”
MacGyver felt his face. His skin was dry and felt hot, as if feverish.
“Oh, you have sunburn from being out in the sun for so long,” Kay said. “They also had to treat you for severe dehydration and sunstroke.”
“That’s…the last time I try to take a vacation…” MacGyver said, smiling. Even in his condition, his eyes sparkled.
“It’s not all that bad,” Kay said. “You’re going to be out of here soon, and when they do let you go, I was wondering if you would like to stay at my place for awhile. It would cost you a lot less than a hotel room—that is, if you’re planning on staying.”
MacGyver licked his chapped lips. “Well, I was thinking of camping out in the desert, but…” he looked down at his ankle. “Given the circumstances…”
“So, does that mean you would like to? I…I don’t want to sound too forward, but I would like to get to know you better.”
MacGyver looked at her. Of course he found her attractive, and he longed to get to know her better as well, but a part of him was hesitant. The whole purpose of his now ill-fated vacation had been to remove himself from people. Relationships, especially since he still felt ashamed about the scars he bore from his torture, were complicated and almost impossible to establish. It had been difficult enough for him to allow Pete to see his trauma, let alone someone new who could never understand the extent of the damage he had suffered. Still, he remembered what his psychiatrist said, about how he had to learn to trust again, that he couldn’t isolate himself from people forever, that in order to heal fully emotionally he had to allow some social life to form, a network of support that could help ease the pain and help him to enjoy life again. He did want to know Kay better, and he realized he had to confront his fears and insecurities eventually if he was to have a complete life again. It would be unfair both to himself and to her if he deprived himself of what could be a rewarding relationship. El Diablo had spent months denying him everything—from basic comforts to nearly his existence. Now that he was free, it was time to allow himself to take advantage of that freedom that he once took for granted. Besides, he told himself, she didn’t have to know right away. Once they were comfortable and intimate with each other, he could open up to her and reveal what had been haunting him for years. When she was ready, and when he was, he could tell her. He hoped he would have the strength and courage to do so, but he reminded himself that he did with Pete. If he could overcome that obstacle of sharing his darkest moments of pain with his best friend, he could do it again with someone else. Perhaps the more he spoke about it, the less burdened and tormented he would feel.
“I’d like to get to know you better, too,” he said.
“Does this mean you’d like to stay with me?” Kay asked.
MacGyver smiled and nodded. Kay was thrilled, hoping that would be his answer.
***
A few days later…
MacGyver and Kay walked the perimeter of her small, adobe style home, situated in the middle of the desert, the town of Red Dunes five miles away.
“So, what do you think?” She asked.
“It’s nice,” MacGyver said, hobbling along with a crutch, his snakebite still bothering him.
“I think so. It’s far enough away from town to feel connected with nature, yet close enough for convenience.”
MacGyver grinned. “You almost sound like a real estate agent,” he said.
“Well, I was in a former life briefly,” she said. “I just couldn’t stand the pressure and competition involved.”
“So you moved out here, bought some land, and those horses.”
“No, the horses aren’t mine.”
“Really?”
“I’m their veterinarian. I returned to school to study veterinary medicine. I always loved horses and wanted to be around them, but as a child my family couldn’t afford them or the amount of property it takes to raise them properly. So, when the owner of these horses gave me the opportunity to work with them, well, I can’t tell you...it was my childhood fantasy fulfilled.”
MacGyver smiled, admiring her passion. “So that’s how you knew so much about snake bites and their treatment,” he said.
Kay nodded. “I treat them all the time—also scorpion bites,” she said.
“Ouch.”
“Come on, I’ll show you inside.”
The interior of the adobe structure was much like the exterior—simple, desert-themed, but nothing kitschy. She had excellent decorating taste and seemed to know what pieces would work best in the desert environment in which she lived.
“Nice,” MacGyver said, looking around.
“I’m glad you like it,” Kay said. She pointed toward a guest bedroom. “That’s where you’ll sleep. I have the bedroom upstairs.” She walked into the kitchen. “Would you like a glass of water? I know you must still feel a little parched after being out in the sun like that.”
MacGyver grinned and touched his red, peeling skin. “Sure,” he said. “Maybe some aloe, too.”
Kay laughed slightly. “I’ll see what I can arrange,” she said. She reached for a glass out of her cabinet and was about to pour some water into it from the tap when she happened to look down at the floor. Her pleasant expression turned into a displeased frown. “Damn,” she muttered.
“What is it?” MacGyver asked.
“Ants,” she said, sighing and placing the glass on the countertop. She crouched down to get a closer look. “This is embarrassing. No matter what I do, they keep coming back. It’s so annoying.”
MacGyver bent over to look at them, careful not to put too much pressure on his still swollen ankle. There was a small cluster of tiny black ants gathered on the floor. Kay looked up at him.
“I know they’re just ants, and it isn’t a complete infestation, but you don’t know how irksome this is. I keep my place immaculate, don’t leave food out, and still the pests come.”
MacGyver thought about his house boat, and how he kept it less than spotless. Pete warned him about bugs whenever he used a potato clock, but he knew of some remedies to keep them at bay.
“Do you have any cinnamon?” He asked.
“In the cupboard next to the stove. Why?”
MacGyver limped over to the cupboard and grabbed the cinnamon. “Well, it’s a natural pest repellent,” he said.
Kay watched him in fascination as he sprinkled the brown, fragrant, exotic spice around the floorboards of her kitchen. “What?” she asked.
“Cayenne pepper works, too, as well as bay leaves, baby powder...but cinnamon seems to work the best.”
“How do you know this?”
“I have a natural remedy reference book,” MacGyver said, quirking his lips into another disarming grin. “It’s not a perfect solution, it’s a temporary fix, and it may not be pretty to look at, but it does seem to deter and confuse ants. It might have something to do with the pheromone trail they secrete to communicate with other ants. The cinnamon might act to disrupt that chemical trail and make it more difficult for them to get a clear sense of direction into your kitchen. At least it’s less harmful than insecticide.”
A shudder ran through him when he remembered the watered down toxic substances that were forced down his throat, mixed with his poor excuse for nourishment. Fortunately, Kay didn’t seem to notice his brief brush with memories from that time.
Kay was impressed. Not only did she find him physically attractive—he was intelligent and witty, too. She was glad he had accepted her invitation to stay with him.
“Thanks, MacGyver,” she said. “I’ll have to keep that in mind for future ant invasions. You could prove handy and useful to have around. I don’t think you’ll regret staying here.”
MacGyver put the cinnamon back. “Well, I don’t know how useful I really am anymore,” he said, smiling sadly, staring at the floor.
“I don’t understand,” she said. “What do you mean?”
MacGyver realized he had allowed his deep feelings of inadequacy and self-hatred from his torture to emerge. “It’s nothing,” he said. “Never mind.”
Now is not the time to tell her. Not yet. She’s not ready. I’m not…come on, Mac. Don’t ruin this one, too. I can’t confide in her. I barely know her. Don’t scare her away with your demons just yet. She won’t be able to handle it. You’ll scare her away…***
El Diablo’s men hoisted MacGyver’s chained, bound, blindfolded, and gagged body in the air, something that was easier to do recently due to his half-starved condition, his body growing thinner and weaker daily. El Diablo sneered at him in disgust, wrinkling his nose at the putrid odors emanating from MacGyver’s body and noticing that his confinement in The Tomb had covered him in a foul mixture of dirt, dried blood, and his own waste.
“You are absolutely filthy, dog,” he said into MacGyver’s dirty ear. “Perhaps it is time we gave you a bath.”
MacGyver released a weak mewl from beneath his gag, unable to do anything else in resistance. Inside his disoriented mind, he knew what El Diablo had planned for him next was not good, but he was ineffective and could do little to stop it. He could barely move, covered in heavy chains, his limbs severely broken, his body deteriorating. He was completely defenseless and helpless. Laughing, El Diablo’s men submerged him in a nearby river, the water just deep enough to envelope him. As he felt the water enclose around him, condemning him to a silent, watery grave, unable to scream, unable to move, MacGyver tried to hold his breath as long as he could endure it, but his broken ribs expanded and screamed for air painfully, and he found he was too weak, the water invading his nostrils and filling his lungs, suffocating him. Slowly, he began to drift away… Kay awoke to loud, deep gasps and coughs coming from the guest bedroom where MacGyver slept. She didn’t have to hear them long to know that he was choking. Quickly, she ran down to see him, finding him still half asleep, his mouth wide open, squirming in bed, struggling to breathe, his face turning redder than the sunburn.
“MacGyver?” She asked. “MacGyver, can you hear me? Oh, God…” She sat him upright, rubbing his back. “Don’t do this…breathe….come on, breathe…”
She felt around his neck for obstructions of any kind, but she didn’t feel any. She tried to perform the Heimlich maneuver on him, but he wouldn’t respond to it, still gasping and wheezing. Trying not to panic, knowing from her experience as a vet that she had to remain calm in order to properly treat him, she continued to hold him up as she reached for her phone, prepared to dial 911, unsure of what was causing him to have difficulties breathing, considering that he might be asthmatic. His whole body tensed and strained, as if some invisible force was strangling him.
“Breathe for me, MacGyver! Come on, don’t do this to me!” She shouted, hoping she could somehow wake him.
MacGyver’s eyes snapped open widely, and he searched the room in a panic, still trying to get adequate oxygen, gasping and shuddering. When his frightened eyes fell on Kay, he began to realize where he was again, and that he wasn’t drowning as he was in the vivid nightmare he had just experienced. Slowly, his breathing returned to normal, and he collapsed back onto the bed, exhausted from his ordeal, taking deep breaths now that he could, struggling to reorient himself to the present.
“Are you all right?” Kay asked, watching him carefully, observing him for any other signs of medical emergency.
He nodded, closing his eyes and draping his arm over them, trying to shut her out, embarrassed and horrified that she had seen him that way, at his most vulnerable, reliving his torture yet again when he thought he could successfully hide it from her until she was ready to hear about it. Now, she would know sooner rather than later, and he didn’t want to tell her.
“Just a nightmare…” he mumbled, his voice barely audible.
“Must have been a bad one,” she said, deep sympathy in her voice. “You really scared me there for a minute.” She gently stroked his arm, unsure if she should make such a comforting gesture this early in their relationship, but she wanted to help him any way she could. She had never seen anyone so terrified before, as if what he had just experienced was real, a disturbing memory from his past. “Would you like me to get you a glass of water?”
He nodded, his arm still covering his eyes.
Kay watched him for awhile longer, making sure he was fine before she went to the kitchen. When she returned, she found him still lying on the bed, his arm over his eyes, not moving except to tremble slightly and to breathe the precious air that had been scarce in his realistic nightmare. She sat on the bed next to him, setting the glass of water on a nearby nightstand.
“Do you want to tell me about it?” She asked.
MacGyver shook his head. It was the last thing he wanted to do.
“Come on, MacGyver, something is going on,” she said. “Earlier this evening I heard you screaming in Spanish in your sleep. Something happened to you, didn’t it? Something that caused these nightmares.”
MacGyver’s body tensed.
I knew this was a mistake. I shouldn’t have come here. Now, she’ll know. Oh God, why couldn’t I keep this from her? Why couldn’t I just have a normal relationship for once? Why did this have to ruin everything again? I knew it. I can never go back to the way things were. I can never be myself again. I’m destroyed, just as El Diablo wanted me to be.Without looking at her, MacGyver sat up and got out of bed, brushing passed her and wandering outside towards a small terrace she had jutting out from the side of the living room. Lightning illuminated the sky, followed by rumbles of thunder, but the air remained dry. He stared out into the darkness, sighing and rubbing the back of his head which was still sore from the impact against the rock. He heard Kay behind him, but he refused to acknowledge her.
“Look, I’m sorry,” she said. “I had no right to pry. We’re still getting to know each other, and I know it will take time. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to—
“I was tortured,” he said, unable to suppress it any longer. The damage had already been caused, his nightmares revealing the truth for him. He decided to finish what they began, no matter how painful.
“Oh God,” Kay said, unsure how to respond. “I…I’m sorry. When?”
“Five years ago. No matter what I do, I keep reliving it. The nightmares and flashbacks come back to haunt me, not allowing me to move on with my life.”
“Were you in the military? Captured during combat?”
“Something like that.” No matter what, he knew he couldn’t tell her about his profession—not yet. That was at least one part of himself he could keep hidden from her until he was ready.
“Oh God…MacGyver…” she thought about the sorrow and fear that she had seen in his eyes that had been missing the last time she saw him, even though he tried to mask it with his usual charming demeanor. She thought about how guarded he had been. Now, it all made sense.
“I thought I could escape the memories somehow by going on this vacation, but they follow me wherever I go.”
He turned to face her, his eyes as stormy as the weather overhead. He limped back inside, approaching her until her was inches away from her. He didn’t know why, but he removed his shirt, showing her the many scars that lined just his torso, including the whip marks on his back. Next, he removed his pants, showing her the jagged, gruesome scars on his legs. He couldn’t stop. Now that she knew the truth, he decided to reveal everything, not knowing if she would be appalled or compassionate.
“MacGyver…” Kay said, her voice shaking with tears that threatened. Gently, her fingers traced the evidence of pure savagery, probing them, not believing one person could be treated so brutally. She embraced him, sobbing. “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…”
“This isn’t easy for me,” MacGyver said, his own tears threatening. “I…I didn’t want to tell you…you shouldn’t have to know about sick things like this…I…I just wanted to have a normal life again…a normal relationship…but I can’t. I have to leave…you shouldn’t have to…”
“No,” Kay said, looking up at him with her tearful eyes, clasping his shoulders. “It’s all right. I’m…well, I’m honored that you felt you could be so honest with me. That’s a start. You don’t have to worry about me. You can trust me. I want to help you if I can. It’ll be all right. Stay as long as you need to. You can feel safe here. This can be your refuge.”
“Kay,” MacGyver whispered. He leaned in to kiss her.
She returned the kiss, and they embraced tightly. He sighed and rested his chin on her shoulder. She allowed him to sob, to release his buried emotions, encouraging him gently, letting him know that it was all right to in front of her, even if they were just getting to know one another. What might have been overwhelming for someone else wasn’t for her. She cared about him enough that she was willing to be there for him in any capacity possible.
“You’re going to be fine, MacGyver,” she whispered, stroking his back, feeling the raised scars, the brutal reality confronting her yet again. “You can stay here with me. I’ll take care of you. I’ll help you get through this as long as you want me to.”
“Kay,” he whispered again, burying his face in her shoulder, relieved he had found a woman who would love him and understand him, no matter what had happened to him. He began to realize that he wasn’t forced to be removed from other people for the rest of his life, that the memories and evidence of his torture did not separate him and make him different. Someone could understand. Someone could love him.
To be continued…
"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer."
--Henry David Thoreau
brains+brawn+beauty+personality=MacGyver
Where is Kay from? Can't remember her from any episode (that is, if she's from the TV series), but then again, MAc had too many women in his life *LOL* I always wished they had keep Nikki. For some reason or another I'm a rare MacGyver/Nikki shipper 
and cried myself dry when she was removed without any sort of explanation 
*sob* (And to add insult to injurie I've never been able to find any Nikki/Mac fanfic in the internet. Somebody hates me 
) 
