[MacsChick]

Shadows and Light Part Seven
Rated: PG

“When did this start?” Pete asked the doctor, watching helplessly as the hospital staff continued to mobilize to save MacGyver, surrounding him, pressing on his chest and providing him oxygen, monitoring his lack of vital signs for any sudden shift or improvement, the high-pitched, urgent squeal of the heart monitor a painful, constant reminder that he was, for the moment, no longer alive. The electric shriek of the defibrillator competed with the heart monitor as it charged, filling the room with electronically amplified sounds of distress.

“Only moments ago,” Dr. Simms said, not taking notice of Pete’s own injuries or bothering to inquire about where he had been, the seriousness of the current situation overriding any such questions. “I don’t quite understand what happened…everything appeared normal when his heart just stopped. I have no explanation to offer; only that he’s losing the fight. I’m terribly sorry, Mr. Thornton. We’ll do everything in our power to revive him.” Bowing respectfully, offering a slight, comforting smile, he returned to his emergency task at hand, joining the small throng of nurses and other specialists swarming around the body, working as quickly as possible to restore MacGyver’s life.

Pete stood there, numb with grief, remembering what Dr. Rhoades said about the soul’s final departure from the body, signaling death. In a way, what Dr. Simms said about him losing the fight was wrong—his body had lost the fight, but somewhere his spirit prevailed. His connection to his body had been tenuous at best, supported by machines and I.V. lines that served to ground and stabilize him, but they could not tether him to the earth. His soul was gone, drifted away to some distant destination. He just wished he knew where.

“Mac, if you’re here, please talk to me,” Pete whispered, turning his head away from the awful sight of his fragile, broken body flopping around on the bed as the hospital staff administered yet another shock to his stilled heart. He sniffed, tears welling in his eyes. “Tell me it’s going to be fine. Visit me sometimes, okay? Just don’t leave me completely alone. I don’t think I could bear that, not after all we’ve been through, not after everything you’ve done for me. I love you, friend. Hear me. Come back to me. Please Mac…”

***

MacGyver was thrust into complete darkness, the light from the hospital room and the dramatic scene of the struggle to save his life gradually fading and growing smaller. It was the reverse of what he had always expected. Instead of going into a tunnel of light, the light disappeared. He had desperately fought to remain with his body, to once again return to it, but the barrier preventing him from entering it grew larger until he could no longer touch or interact with anything, as if solid, invisible walls surrounded him. He was dragged and pulled by some unseen force, and the more he resisted the stronger and faster the pull became, hurtling him through the blackness towards some uncertain fate.

“No! I have to get back! Stop! Pete! What’s happening?” He shouted, clawing at nothing but air, trying to grasp something that would stop the momentum.

When at last he came to an abrupt halt, his stomach rolled sickeningly as if he had suffered another bout of vertigo. Everything around him remained still, silent, and dark. Bewildered, he groped for anything familiar, searching blindly.

“Pete?” He called out, his voice echoing through what seemed to be an expansive, cavernous space, his voice continuing to reverberate for miles. “Can you hear me? Pete?” His eyes adjusted to the dark, yet he still saw nothing. “Hello? Is anyone here?”

A chilled, bitter wind whistled through the cavern, causing MacGyver to shiver and wrap his arms around his body. He could hear water dripping in the background. It seemed he was underground somewhere, like catacombs. It was desolate and lonely, and being lost in the darkness, unable to see, only compounded his feelings of isolation and despair.

“Hello,” He called out again. “Can anyone hear me? Someone, please answer me! Tell me where I am!” He wandered blindly in the darkness, stumbling on occasion to regain his footing after tripping over unseen and uneven ground, searching with his eyes and groping with his hands, reaching out only to touch more emptiness as if it extended for miles.

“Think of it as kind of a waiting room, a place between life and death,” a voice responded to him, echoing through the chambers.

Startled, MacGyver turned in the direction of the voice, still seeing nothing. As he listened to the voice, he thought it sounded familiar—gruff, stern, and wise. He strained to identify it, but without any visuals it made it difficult.

“Who are you?” He asked, looking around the darkness, trying to figure out how to best address this disembodied voice, wondering about its exact location. “Why can’t I see you? Why can’t I see anything?”

“You want to live, don’t you?” The voice asked, ignoring his questions.

“Yes, I want to very much,” MacGyver said.

“Everyone dies eventually, you know.”

“I know, but I’d rather not be too hasty about it, if you know what I mean.”

“Sometimes, you don’t get to choose.”

“I realize that, but…well, it’s just…I have so much more left to do, you know? People need me.”

“You don’t think I didn’t have duties and obligations left to fulfill, too? Hell, I had a lot I wanted to do, but I didn’t get to, you understand? That’s just the way the world works. Life is unfair—but, so is death.”

“Maybe it doesn’t have to be,” MacGyver said. “Maybe I can still fight it and get back.”

The unseen voice chuckled audibly as if amused by MacGyver’s naïveté, but also admiring of it. “I tried to fight it, too, but it didn’t work. I had to accept that it was my time,” it said.

“But I can try,” MacGyver said.

“Of course you can try,” the voice said. “That you’re here instead of the final destination and that you’re a young, strong man gives you an advantage, but there are no guarantees. You might regret returning. I saw how banged up you were. It was pretty serious. You might not be the same as you were before. It’s a big risk.”

“What do you mean, you saw me? In the hospital? You’ve been following me around? Are you some guardian angel or something?”

The voice chuckled again. “No,” it said. “I’ve never thought of myself as anyone’s great savior or anything. I’m just a man, like you. But yes, if you must know, I have been following you around. I’ve been following you around for quite some time. You just can’t see me.”

“Why? Why can’t I see you? Why won’t you tell me who you are?”

“That’s up to you,” the voice said. “You have to decide. Once you make your decision, you’ll get to see me.”

“What are you talking about? What decision?” MacGyver asked, growing exasperated.

“Well, whether to live or die, of course,” the voice said nonchalantly. “It’s a tough one, I know, but you have to make it and make it soon. Your body can’t last much longer without you in it.”

“Pete needs me,” he muttered. “I can’t leave him—not yet.”

“At some point, he’s going to have to rely on himself. You can only interfere so much in the affairs of the living. Soon, he’s going to have to learn to accept your absence in his life. He can grieve, yes. Grief never disappears entirely. I know. But it’s that grief that makes a person strong. Death’s a tough lesson, but one that needs to be learned.”

“What will he do without me if I stay here?” MacGyver asked.

“He’ll manage, as all people do.”

“I just can’t imagine us…apart…”

“No one can. Believe me, it isn’t easy. It won’t last forever. Someday, you’ll be reunited. Everyone with someone close in their life has had to deal with the pain of separation. You’re not alone in that. I know you. You think you are. You think you’re the only one who has had to deal with loss, but you’re not. I’ve had to deal with it, too, and it wasn’t any easier for me. But you learn from it. You learn what to value, how to spend your time, what matters...whom you choose to love, whom you shut out…”

MacGyver thought he heard sadness in the voice as it spoke to him, laced with harsh bitterness and regret. He had heard that before, as well. If only he could place the owner of the voice…

“How can you stand it, though?” He asked the voice. “How do you handle not being able to talk to the living, not being able to help or influence them in any way? I did my best to help Pete when he was captured, but even then I could only do so much. I never felt more powerless, frustrated, and angry before. I can’t imagine spending my time waiting for him to join me here—wherever here is—all the while sitting there watching him live his daily life, being unable to interact with him. The thought of that is unbearable and undesirable to me.”

“I know, but there’s not much you can do,” the voice said. “Some of the things I’ve seen you do have irritated me to no end, but I can’t complain. You see, what you don’t understand is that you can still make a difference in Pete’s life—in any of the lives of people you know—it’s just that your influence will be a little more indirect, that’s all. You know that voice that tells you to do something when you’re unsure? Some folks call that instinct or a gut feeling or whatever, but what it really comes from is advice given to you by those you have known who have passed on, gently guiding and encouraging you to take the right path, the right course of action. Pete will be fine if you trust him to take control of his own life without you in it, and when you see him struggling with a decision, you can help steer him towards the right one. So you see, he won’t be completely alone without you there.”

“Can you do the same thing for me?” MacGyver asked.

“What do you mean?” The voice asked.

“Well, I’m struggling with a decision now—whether to live or die. I trust you and your judgment. I don’t know why, but your voice reminds me of someone close to me.”

“It should,” the voice said.

“Well then, tell me what to do.”

“I can’t. I love you, but I can’t. I want you to stay because I’ve missed you. God, I’ve missed you, more than I thought I would ever miss anyone. I’m not…a man given to expressing his emotions openly, but…I want you to know that I do miss you, and I do love you. Don’t forget that.”

MacGyver heard the gruff man’s voice tremble as if tears threatened. “Please,” he said, “tell me who you are. Let me see you.”

“I can’t. Make your decision first.”

“But you refuse to help me.”

“You don’t need any help. You never have. Besides, you already know what you want.”

“I do?”

“Goodbye, Bud.”

Before MacGyver could respond, he was forcibly yanked back in the opposite direction towards his dying body in the hospital, drifting, flying, and tumbling through a tunnel in the darkness, his limbs flailing, grappling and clawing for something that would stop the ceaseless fall, but nothing would…
***

“Note the time of death,” Dr. Simms said grimly, staring at the solid, level green line on the heart monitor that continued despite their persistence.

Beside himself, Pete sobbed audibly, staring at MacGyver’s lifeless body on the hospital bed. “No…p-please…this can’t be it! Try it again!” He said.

Normally, in an emergency procedure such as this, Dr. Simms would have ushered distraught family members out of the room so that he and his staff could work more efficiently, unhindered by the presence of extra people in the room, but he had been so focused on reviving MacGyver that he had forgotten that Pete was even present.

“There is simply nothing more we can do for him, I’m afraid,” Dr. Simms said. “We’ve been trying for almost an hour now. He’s gone, Mr. Thornton. I’m sorry.” He shut off the heart monitor, the steady, blaring whine ceasing. The defibrillator was also turned off, leaving nothing but a heavy, dreary silence in the room.

“Mac,” Pete sobbed. “Oh God, please don’t do this to me! Don’t leave me now! Come back! Fight it! You can do it!” A sheet was draped over MacGyver’s still body, causing Pete to sob even louder. “No! No, this can’t be it! He could still have a chance! Please…”

Dr. Simms and some of his staff approached Pete, gently trying to get him to exit the room.

“I insist that you wait outside for a moment, Mr. Thornton,” Dr. Simms said.

“No,” Pete said, struggling feebly against them as they grabbed his arm and tried to escort him out of the room, too weakened from grief to fight harder, staring blankly at the shrouded form on the hospital bed, still not wanting to believe it was MacGyver, divorcing himself from the painful reality of the scene, knowing that it couldn’t be true, that somehow MacGyver would awaken again.

“Mr. Thornton, I understand you’re upset, but you’ll get to see him again. We need a moment to…” Dr. Simms sighed, not wanting to bring up preparing the body for the morgue. “It’ll be all right. Look, I know this isn’t easy…”

“Are you sure you’ve done all you can?” Pete asked, more tears rolling down his cheeks. “He’s not supposed to die yet. He’s strong. He’s a fighter. I’ve seen him get through worse than this…please…” he broke down, burying his face in Dr. Simms’s shoulder.

Dr. Simms comforted him as best as he could, embracing him and patting him on the back. He had been faced with this scenario numerous times in his medical career, and despite the training he’d received about remaining professional, detached, yet mildly compassionate, he couldn’t always remain so.

“It’ll be all right, Mr. Thornton,” he said quietly. “I know it’s hard, but you need to rest. You need time to process your grief. We have counselors that can help you. You don’t need to do this alone. I’ll make sure you get all the support you need during this trying time.”

“MacGyver,” Pete sobbed, embracing Dr. Simms tightly.

“He’s gone, Mr. Thornton. I’m truly sorry. We did everything we could.”

MacGyver, I don’t know where you are now or if you can hear me, but please let me know you’re all right, Pete thought, squeezing his burning eyes tightly shut. Please let me know again that you’re out there, that I don’t have to do this alone. Please show me a sign, something...come on, Mac…

“Oh my God! Doctor, look!” A nurse shrieked in surprise, noticing a slight movement beneath the sheet that now covered MacGyver’s body.

“What is it?” Dr. Simms asked, carefully releasing himself from Pete and turning back towards his patient.

“I think he’s…breathing…” the nurse said, looking up at him, shock in her eyes.

“Oh God,” Pete whispered, staring at the unfolding scene in incredulity.

All of them rushed over to MacGyver’s body, gathering around to see if he really was alive again. Dr. Simms removed the sheet covering him and bent his head, turning it so that his ear faced MacGyver’s mouth where he could listen for any sounds of respiration. He heard a faint, yet distinct sound of a breath escaping MacGyver’s lips. They had been pale and blue, and now they were restored to the natural color of his flesh. He worked rapidly to re-attach the electrodes that had been torn from MacGyver’s bare chest, turning on the heart monitor again. Instead of a shrill, piercing, steady whine, it had a rhythm, the formerly straight line becoming jagged with peaks and valleys. He felt MacGyver’s pulse, and it was steady.

“What’s going on?” Pete asked.

“I…I don’t understand how this could happen,” Dr. Simms said, a broad, relieved, and amazed smile on his face. He looked up at Pete. “I mean, this is nearly medically impossible, but…he’s alive, Mr. Thornton! He’s coming out of his coma and stabilizing! His sinus and heart rhythms are normal!”

Pete laughed, sharing his stunned reaction with the others in the room. “I don’t believe it!” He said. “This is incredible! He survived after all! I told you! I told you he would! Oh my God! This is just like those miracles you hear about!”

“Well, I wouldn’t get too excited yet,” Dr. Simms said. “He has revived after almost an hour of no respiration and heart failure. Combined with the serious head injury, the damage could be severe and irreparable. He still has a long way to go before we know what the exact diagnosis of his recovery will be.”

“I know,” Pete said, “but he’s alive. My God, he’s alive! That’s all I care about—that he’s here.” Rushing to MacGyver’s bedside, he grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “MacGyver, can you hear me? I’m here for you. It’s Pete. Everything’s going to be fine now, I promise you.”

Slowly, MacGyver’s eyes opened. They were empty voids for a time, staring at nothing, much to the alarm of everyone in the room, worried about brain damage. Soon, they seemed to shift slightly, staring at Pete instead.

“That’s right, it’s me,” Pete said. “It’s okay now.” He choked back more tears. “Do you know me? Do you remember anything?”

MacGyver continued to stare.

“Even if his higher brain functions somehow managed to remain intact, his ability to respond will be gradual,” Dr. Simms said. “We will just have to keep monitoring his progress to determine the extent of any permanent damage.”

“I just still can’t believe it,” Pete said, smiling. “He’s alive! Somehow, after all that, he’s alive!”

“He’s an amazing man indeed, Mr. Thornton,” Dr. Simms said. “To survive against such odds…”

“That’s MacGyver,” Pete said, smiling proudly.

He turned back to his remarkable friend and noticed what appeared to be a slight smile forming on his lips. Of course, Pete realized he could have been imagining it, but chose to believe that it was real. After all, he had seen enough extraordinary things in the last few days to believe in the possibility of almost anything.

To be continued…

[ghostdoll]

Aww... Grandpa Harry. The jerk It always hurt me to see how he fought emotions like if they were the plague. Grumpy old man But most of his words were wise and helpful.

Wonderful story! Enjoying every word of it. Good fanfiction is addictive Another great chapter, MacsChick. Persian cats approved

[Kyrian]

Wow MacsChick! This chapter should have come with a handkerchief warning! Great chapter! Very detailed and descriptive.
I was glad to read that Mac is back in his body again, though it looks as if his troubles arent over yet...

After reading it to the cats (three Persians and three "naturaly pedigreed" (read "just cats")) they looked at me as if to say "See we told you Mac has more than one life.."

Anyway, love the story! More story...Pweeze??

[MacGyverGod]

Best story around. Applause!

Woohoo back to 2000 posts.