Manners and Courtesy Cost Nothing
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denizen
Posted: 15 October 2013 - 03:10 AM                                    
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Admirable that all of you feel that way. In truth, i am exactly the same. The problem is that society has changed since the 1980's. TV is grittier, more violent & slapped in your face. People tend to push further than before when it comes to selling something.

The youth of today are subjected to this. Not every show that you watch on TV ends off with a smile on your face. Even technology itself has made us introverts. We hide behind a screen or mobile phone. We don't mingle anymore.

It's sad because back in the day, my family used to go out all the time, no matter where it was. Point is, you met people, you spent time with them. Nowadays, people do not trust anyone. They are believers of deceipt simply because they have been exposed to it through social or news media. We are more careful about what we do and who we do it with.

Even movies that carry an apparent PG 13 or PG 16 are right off the charts. I would NEVER let my kid watch some of his stuff when he reaches that age. I personally feel that censorship has taken a vacation and this is one problem.

An ever changing society means that it is now our responsibility to pass our wisdom to our next generation, reminding them that the future does not always carry all the answers. Despite the simplicity of today's assistance with technology, charging your mental backup battery for an inevidable power outage is a prerequisite.



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Dennman
Posted: 18 July 2015 - 11:07 AM                                    
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Great topic! One of the characteristics of Mac has always been his manners and politeness. Something you really don't see much today in society or current heroic television or movie characters. Reminds me of a few months ago I was in line at a sandwich shop and the person in front of me with her kid was extremely rude to the employee behind the counter. I kept thinking this young child may be influenced by this behavior as though it's acceptable to disrespect others. I could never picture MacGyver throwing a tantrum because the worker didn't put enough olives on his sandwich, especially in front of a kid. He'd either politely ask for more, or just not let it bother him. Either way he'd keep his cool.
I wonder if today in elementary or high schools, students still address their teachers by Mrs. or Mr? We did when I was a kid, all the way through college. Also with smart phones and other devices everywhere I wonder just how teachers and families are teaching children respect, politeness and manners?



 
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MacGyverGod
Posted: 18 July 2015 - 03:42 PM                                    
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I really can't imagine teachers and students being on a first name basis. One thing that baffled always on these teen shows is that teacher also refers to the kids as Mr. and Ms. In Belgium we always refer to the teacher as Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. In elementary school we were allowed to use their first name as long as we said Mrs. or Ms. The male teachers we had to use their last names. The teacher always used our first names in class.

The problem is that manners and courtesy are become stranger and stranger. Nobody understands that anymore and nobody listens anymore either. If you are being (too) nice, peoples will run over you, if you are being rude, you're the jerk. This is just the way things are now and it's going to get a lot worse.



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Joe SAKic
Posted: 18 July 2015 - 05:36 PM                                    
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We're slowly regressing back to primates as far as communications / interpersonal skills are concerned.

For example, I still greet people buy saying 'Good Morning', 'Good Afternoon', 'Good Evening' to each and all and depending on the time of day. But I'm a dinosaur, a fossil for that and you'd might as well be wearing a Bowler hat and carry a swagger stick to utter such strange words in this day and age.

It may sound like a simple courteous intro .... but in fact it's becoming so rare that one clerk in a store replied 'how interesting?' when I opened with a 'Good Afternoon!' recently. How interesting???????? Yup, most people just greet each other with a contracted 'Hi' these days that sounds a lot more like a wild animal grunting than an actual humanoid.



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KiwiTek
Posted: 18 July 2015 - 05:40 PM                                    
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QUOTE
One thing that baffled always on these teen shows is that teacher also refers to the kids as Mr. and Ms.


Well I know my son is required to call his teachers Mr, Mrs, Ms when addressing them.

I think teachers calling students Mr, Miss, etc is an American thing. I've only ever seen it in American TV shows. I think the idea is that it shows respect for the work that the students have put in to be able to get into university?



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Barry Rowland
Posted: 18 July 2015 - 05:46 PM                                    
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Maybe, just maybe, we dinosaurs can pass enough of the old ways along to the new generation to keep basic communication and civility alive. I marvel at how things have changed in the retail world. When I worked in it in the mid 80's-early 90's, you were looking for a new job if you didn't greet and assist customers. Not now....how things have changed.



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Joe SAKic
Posted: 18 July 2015 - 06:06 PM                                    
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Barry, I think part of that is because it's become considered more and more 'risky business' for kids to practice their communications skills in this day and age. Too many weirdoes about and thus they(kids) are getting a much later start at this aspect of communications.

When we were young, we were encouraged (made) to greet grownup strangers on the street with a look in the eyes, & a friendly hello or 'Good Day' etc. Nowadays, many kids are taught not to talk to strangers at all and thus they (must) become retarded in certain aspects of their communication skills .... having to turn it on 'suddenly' in their teen years or later. Like learning a new language, that might be too late for some/many .....



The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a man's determination.

Whether you think you can or you can't .... you're probably right!

"Nature often addressed our problems much better than the doctor." - Henry Miller

"So shut up, live, travel, adventure, bless and don't be sorry." - Jack Kerouac

"No one is remembered for being normal" -- Albert Einstein

 
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Maclover
Posted: 21 October 2015 - 01:46 PM                                    
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I completely agree with this thread. I was brought up to mind my P's and Q's and I try to instil the same in my kids (now teens). I will confess that I am not quite so restrained as our lovely Mac, and occasionally resort to mild cussing, but normally only to myself - if I've dropped something, hurt myself or have reached a certain level of frustration with myself over an inability to do something (I was on a climbing wall the other night about half way up and 'stuck' and was pleased the lads had the music going at ground level!!). However, I have a certain level of language that I will not break - I just will not use certain words - even to myself and I try not use any bad language in front of another person or even worse to describe another person. I also def. won't let my kids do this either. They come home and tell me that they hear other students using the 'really bad' words as 'regular' language - They don't need me to tell them that similar language had better never come home - I know it never would.

The daft thing is that good behaviour is so easily instilled if it is started young and kids never know any different. It is amazing how many parents seem to fail in this though. There is nothing remotely high class about my family or my life, but I just think it is correct for me to bring the kids up so they can behave 'properly' anywhere. They both know about general manners, about opening doors esp. for their elders, and offering to help in strange houses and locations, i.e. with the dishes at mealtimes, they know how to deal with several layers of cutlery at a table should it ever be encountered, I've taught my son about seating a lady at a table and helping with her coat, opening car doors. I must admit in the UK, we don't tend to use Sir and Ma'am as they do partic. in the Southern states, but I must admit I always notice when I hear it and appreciate the courtesy when it is used to me, and it is always a useful polite fall-back when you don't know someone's name and need to refer to them. I also pick examples of good manners when I see it on the TV and point it out to them. As a result I have two young people that are regularly commented on and welcome wherever I take them. As I noted above - was this outcome the result of huge effort? Of course it wasn't - so little effort for such a huge gain it amazes me that not all young people are raised similarly.



 
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uniquelyjas
Posted: 1 May 2017 - 03:36 PM                                    
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I just came across this thread and agree with absolutely EVERYTHING that's been said so far. Not sure I could add much! Growing up, I was taught to call close friends of my parents by Aunt___ or Uncle___. I was an only child in a small family. In retrospect, this wasn't such a good idea as it took me years to figure out I wasn't actually related to these people!!! Neighbors, etc. were always Mr. and Mrs. I was born in 1970 by the way. OK, just thought of a story to share. I did my student teaching at my old grade school. One of my teachers was still working there. As a colleague, I could have easily called her "Gloria" but I could NOT bring myself do to that. To this day, we exchange Christmas cards. She signs her name "Gloria", but I still write "Dear Ms._____" at the top!!!

Watching MacGyver as an adult I've noticed his manners, chivalry, etc. It probably sounds corny, but, even though I consider myself a polite, thoughtful person, I watch these shows now and think that I need to be more like Mac!



Jody~

"I've found from past experiences that the tighter your plan, the more likely you are to run into something unpredictable" ~ MacGyver (The Heist)

 
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MacGyversGirl4Ever
Posted: 6 February 2018 - 08:52 PM                                    
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Being a teenager entering into the adult world I can definitely vouch that common courtesy is becoming less of a commodity and more of a chore. Everyone is trying to get to their destination without interruptions and looking out for #1. I try my best to practice kindness as much as possible and I wish that others my age and younger did too.



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Dragondog
Posted: 7 March 2018 - 04:11 PM                                    
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I agree, manners and courtesy really need to make a comeback.

I try to be polite, and practice my own manners whenever possible. Sometimes it's a little tough, not because I don't care, but because I'm SO painfully shy and socially awkward. I'm good until I have to talk to someone. tongue.gif

I think on the first-name-basis, it kinda depends. I call close friends of the family by their first names, but it really depends on how they're introduced to me. "This is Mr./Mrs.-" would probably cause me to call them by those titles unless they told me otherwise.

I think a lot of it has to do with how people raise their kids, too. I've seen plenty of families at my church whose kids are very well-behaved for their age, even if they are a little rambunctious (they're kids, after all). But I used to live next door to this family who was a ROYAL pain in the neck, to say the least. Everyone, from the adults to the kids, would constantly use some pretty R rated words some twenty times per sentence, loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear. headbutt.gif



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beth
Posted: 5 April 2018 - 07:36 PM                                    
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We had a rule in our house when my kids were growing up. If they wanted something they had to say "please" or they didn't get it. If they didn't say "thank you" after receiving the item then it was taken away. They are now 26 & 27 and they still stay "please" and "thank you". The same rule applies to my 9 year old grandson.



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AmigaDeVenezuela
Posted: 1 January 2019 - 10:01 AM                                    
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I talk to a lot of people, from 18 years old to 80 something years old, every day at my job. It amazes me how some of them talk to me. Some of the 18 year olds are more respectful than the ones that are 80. Others need to improve their vocabulary. I've found that to be most common with the 50 to 60 year old range. I would be ashamed of myself for talking to a person I do not know in such a manner.
Even my own co-workers lack manners. Some one had dropped a gift card on the ground. I didn't know if it had anything on it. A co-worker was going in to the building so I asked them to take it to HR and they would find the owner of the card. She wasn't going to at first. She was going to keep it for herself. I told her that it's not yours and told her again to take it to HR. She told me, the next day, that she did what I asked her to do and told me that it was a Christmas gift for one of our co-worker's child. She's my age. I should have had to tell her to do the right. I guess it is either how she was raised or not listening to your parents when they tried to teach manners.



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MacGyverOnline
Posted: 1 January 2019 - 02:36 PM                                    
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The biggest problem is breaking the cycle.

Children copy their parents and then become parents themselves who teach their kids the same behavior, and on it goes.... and now America has a President who embodies all the worst behaviors making them acceptable and the standard.... so there's not much hope... for a while at least.




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Dragondog
Posted: 1 January 2019 - 07:26 PM                                    
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Can't give up hoping, or trying. That's what MacGyver would say wink.gif



"If at first you don't succeed, get a bigger hammer" - Hank The Cowdog

"You have the heart of a chief, and the soul of a dragon"- How to Train Your Dragon 2

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MacGyverGod
Posted: 2 January 2019 - 04:11 AM                                    
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It's the current society mentality. Politeness is no longer what it used to be. On one hand you might be surprised on how people still are polite or could be polite. On the other hand, there always the sour pusses.

Treat others the way you want to be treated yourself, isn't that the old expression?



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zoeryan
Posted: 2 January 2019 - 09:27 AM                                    
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QUOTE (MacGyverOnline @ 1 January 2019 - 02:36 PM)
The biggest problem is breaking the cycle.

Children copy their parents and then become parents themselves who teach their kids the same behavior, and on it goes.... and now America has a President who embodies all the worst behaviors making them acceptable and the standard.... so there's not much hope... for a while at least.

Unfortunately he literally got elected by people who think saying whatever you think with no regard to anyone else (or to the truth) is somehow progress or refreshing. Is it any wonder Be Best is not working for them.

All I can say is I agree, it will be wonderful when decorum and civility and truth are once again in the White House, regardless of party.

As far as Sirs and Mams/Mr. and Mrs. that is very much cultural/regional. The words don't make politeness, politeness makes politeness smile.gif



"I'm not perfect.... yet."

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Dragondog
Posted: 2 January 2019 - 06:45 PM                                    
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QUOTE (zoeryan @ 2 January 2019 - 11:27 AM)
As far as Sirs and Mams/Mr. and Mrs. that is very much cultural/regional. The words don't make politeness, politeness makes politeness smile.gif

I agree smile.gif



"If at first you don't succeed, get a bigger hammer" - Hank The Cowdog

"You have the heart of a chief, and the soul of a dragon"- How to Train Your Dragon 2

"[T]he more we try to understand one another, the more exceptional each one of us will be" - Zootopia

"Love makes you do strange things." - Charlie Brown

"When something looks too perfect, it probably sucks" - Dreamworks Dragons Race to the Edge

 
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Mac2Nite
Posted: 5 January 2019 - 01:23 PM                                    
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QUOTE (zoeryan @ 3 January 2019 - 05:27 AM)
QUOTE (MacGyverOnline @ 1 January 2019 - 02:36 PM)
The biggest problem is breaking the cycle.

Children copy their parents and then become parents themselves who teach their kids the same behavior, and on it goes.... and now America has a President who embodies all the worst behaviors making them acceptable and the standard.... so there's not much hope... for a while at least.

Unfortunately he literally got elected by people who think saying whatever you think with no regard to anyone else (or to the truth) is somehow progress or refreshing. Is it any wonder Be Best is not working for them.

All I can say is I agree, it will be wonderful when decorum and civility and truth are once again in the White House, regardless of party.

As far as Sirs and Mams/Mr. and Mrs. that is very much cultural/regional. The words don't make politeness, politeness makes politeness smile.gif

Agree 100% thumbup.gif



"Any problem can be solved with a little ingenuity."

 
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