Thank you so much for all the comments, everyone! I really appreciate the feedback, and all of you are seriously too kind.
Also: Persona Non Grata, you have no idea how glad I am that someone other than me knows not just the word smegging, but also the word kayfabe. *You* rock!!
And Rocket is right... You know that Jack will find some way to botch it up and everything will go up in smoke!