*materializes in front of MacBeth*
*looks around*
*points behind MacBeth* What's that?!
*MacBeth look over her shoulder*
*I take Mac*
*runs away like crazy taking Mac with me*
Bwuahahahahahahahahahahahahahahh!!

*Beth shakes her head in amazement, watches Doll run away with the decoy Mac*

Works every time!!

neeeewbies *facepalm*

Okay, I had this really bizarre dream last night... so bizarre that I must inflicit it upon you all here... as a kind of therapy and also as an excuse to steal THE WIN...


It started out as the typical film noir setting, a world of shadows through which I am walking—trying to get home from somewhere. Not a lot of anxiety, but there is some feeling of paranoia. Everything is strange, like a little town that was abandoned shortly after being redecorated in ‘70’s art-deco. If it hadn’t been so dark, I would have expected a lot of orange, red, and avocado green splashed over the angles.

I’m walking along a road, and I come to a place where there is a kind of a sheltered rest stop. Very artistically shaped, the shelter is a kind of a wavy overhead platform supported by four pillars that lifted it about twenty feet in the air. I walk beneath the platform, thinking a taxi or a bus might come by to relieve some of my long walk, but there are no lights on the roads.

I see someone else under the shelter, just beyond one of the pillars; a man with a motorcycle (I’ve been having lots of motorcycle dreams lately). He offers to give me a ride in the direction that I’m going, but I am reluctant to accept (yes, my mother brainwashed me quite efficiently with the ‘never take rides from strangers’ scenarios.)

He accepts my negative reply good-naturedly, but before he can ride away, lights appear in the sky—like huge chrysanthemum firework displays, in red, white, and blue. The falling sparks are shaped like snowflakes. They soar high into the air, beyond the trees, so that we step a few paces forward to see better. Then the sparks fall among us, even through the shelter of the platform. The sparks do not burn, they paralyze us when they touch our skin. I remember falling and being unable to move, feeling only a great sense of panic, as well as a great frustration with my mother for making me afraid of riding on motorcycles with strange men.

We are picked up by men and transported somewhere vague. I’m thinking a typical alien-abduction here (seen waaaay too many episodes of X-Files, yes) but as it turns out, the people who have captured us are not alien, but other humans controlled by—okay, this is where the dream gets really weird, but the reasons are apparent later, and you’ll laugh, I guarantee it!—cats!

Yes, the cats of the world have been quietly taking over certain humans and training them to capture and reprogram other humans to become the perfect cat servants. We learned, under pain of torture and by hypnosis, how to care for, feed, clean and spoil the crap out of cats.

When I woke up from this bizarre dream, I found Zaphod, my 17 pound ball of feline neurosis, curled up next to my pillow—where I keep my impressionable brain while sleeping. He was lying with all four of his little clawed feet wrapped around one of my hands, and I was gently tickling his belly in my sleep.

I have been assimilated, folks. Beware. Cats are out to take over your brain too!!

Better to have him influence a dream than to steal your breath!!

I guess it was what I deserved for carelessly leaving my brain where the cats could play with it! LOL!

Aha, but maybe the cats are aliens! Very clever of them.

Fiendishly clever of them... and the whole 'mouse catching thing'... I'll bet they imported mice from Mars just to get on our good sides!

LOL!

One more work day till holidays

Hey, A-Mac, good to see you! Travel safe!

I used to watch the Garfield cartoon when I was a little kid, and they had one like that where cats were aliens taking over earth using their cuteness to manipulate us! Having plenty of cat experience myself, I have no problem imagining it.

Anyone seen the movie Cats & Dogs?

Yes a very funny film!

There was a classic science fiction novel -- The Green Millenium, by Fritz Leiber, originally published in 1953. The world is conquered by an apparently ordinary house cat, which happens to be bright green. The cat proves to be an alien. The world is much better off as a result.

Oh! I love Fritz Leiber! I was a 'Fahfred and the Grey Mouser' fan in my tender years!

I need help! A very early birthday present arrived in the post and my fingers are itching to open it!

It feels like a book!!

*I must resist*

Maybe if I put it out of sight I will forget about the fact that there is possibly an unread book in my house.

To make me feel better about depriving myself of a read I will take the win.

I'm trying to catch up with whats been going on during the week, so I'm still here. It's been a dull week, nothing new, nothing exiting, plus I've got exams next week, plus I have to do a couple of drawings, finish a languaje work on a book, prepare maths, comb the dog and do the garden if it doesn't rain!!! Somebody stop me before I go bonzo!!!!

I should be finishing taxes (damn it we owe), doing laundry, cleaning the house, picking up my roof out of the yard now that the snow has finally melted, trimming bushes and digging out weeds from the flower beds, printing photos for a project for next weekend, repairing a piece of jewelry and designing some new pieces.

Instead, I'm hanging out here, reclaiming my rightful place as top dog (thanks, guys for holding my place) and trying to work out a few creative budgetary issues so I have extra $$ for a gem show tomorrow. Gotta scope out the latest treasures.

Its gonna be a very busy month coming up so I may not be around except on weekends. I'm going to be either teaching a class or sitting in as a student in one everyday in April. I'm excited though, I'm going to be doing a lot of emergency responder first responder training. I even get to learn how to deliver a baby. Just hope that's one emergency I never have to face. But its gonna be a lot of fun even if its a lot of hard work.

I therefore bequeath you all temporary possession of my throne, provided you

1. Don't abuse it
2. Return it when I want it

Until then, I reign supreme.........(not like I have a superiority complex or anything)

Sorry, Grrl, you need to re-read the "No returns" policy. You want it, you gotta come get it. Till then, it's not yours.

You were saying.............

Yes, I was indeed. Very good! You read the directions.

You wouldn't be implying anything about blondes and abilities now would you?

I even ask for directions if I think I'm lost.........hey I even have Jade trained to ask for directions. Of course he usually asks the GPS, but still its progress.

As long as the Onstar guide isn't directing you towards a ravine?

No OnStar. How about a hand held GPS that he looks at while he drives? Which is why I'm always saying either drive or navigate, not both or give me that damn thing. Which one ususally determined by how close the bullet we just dodged was.

I was quoting the "How to tell when you need a new car" thread:

and I am quoting reality.........

Maybe I should start a new thread "How to tell when you need a new guidance system"..........

Since, given the choice, you're going to replace the GPS rather than Jade . . . it makes sense.

I have noted that one of the best ways to learn a new city quickly is to get lost in it, but you need to be in the right frame of mind for it to work: adventurous rather than stressed out.

Then you are going to love this. We were in Portland several years ago and were going out for a little exploring and to get some coffee. I remembered the location of the art gallery I saw the night before and the coffee shop. Jade had left the GPS in our room and didn't feel like going back to get it so we leave the hotel, walk a half a block to the corner of the street and he promptly is lost! He has absolutely no idea where he is....and he's freaked about it.

I'm pointing out the locations of the coffee shop, the art gallery, the train and bus stops. We learned something about ourselves that day. I navigate by landmarks, and I fix a picture of the landmark in my mind. He navigates by direction, and uses maps and landmarks like the mountains to help determine direction. It was just odd to be the one knowing where I was and him so disoriented. But we make a good team, I find stuff in the city. He's in charge in the backcountry.

I rely on landmarks and a sense of the compass -- but the directions need to be rooted on a landmark. Growing up in the mountains, I got used to having something large and solid sticking up on the horizon somewhere from which to orient myself. I have much more trouble finding my way around in buildings than anywhere outside, whether it's the city or the country.

I have an awful time in Florida -- it's too flat!!! And everything looks alike: condos, strip-malls, more strip-malls, more condos. I can never keep my internal map from getting jumbled. And Melissa has difficulty in Seattle: she's used to the ocean being to the east, so north and south keep swapping places on her.