There's room for one person... but only if that person is willing to help me move some furniture out of there. Hence why I offer the couch for short stays.

Mac

I win again!!!!!!!!



Mac

I haven't fought my way to the top of the food-chain to become a vegetarian!

Can't resist the urge, have to post this one:

When Hell freezes over


A true story.

A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his
graduate students. It had one question:

Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with a proof.

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or
some variant. One student, however wrote the following:

First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass.
If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate
are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think
that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not
leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell,
lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these
religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all people and all souls go to hell. With birth and death
rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase
exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell.
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell
to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay
constant.

#1 So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will
increase until all hell breaks loose.

#2 Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell
freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given me by Therese Banyan
during Freshman year, and take into account the fact that I still have
not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be
true, and hell is exothermic.

The student got the only A.

lets give a great big warm welcome to goldie!!!! yay!! he's happy right now^^ swimming round the tank says hi to bubbles and angel making new friends... he's not to sure of sponge bob though

What a shame

And Canada isn't bridged with Europe, so I wont take the car and the tenttrailer along

You got a new fish Sluggie? Is that Goldie 2?

hehehe yeah^^ he's black and orange (although when we were bringing him home he lost all his black... and looks kinda green )

He's goldie the first it's squirt and smokie and are swimming in the big fish pound in the sky....

that's sad.

But... just think.. there's all the worms and flake they could ever want. Annnnd.... they won't bonk there noses every 15 gallons.


P.S.... Uh... whose the we in "we"?

hahahaha weee.... no i don't have spilt personallies... i meant me, the fish, and my mum (who gave me a lift to the shop to get the fish and the new filter becauae the old one stopped working in the night, and an air pump to run the big dorry fish from finding nemo who's mouth opens and closes with air bubbles...) and breath... yeah.... no bonking noses... i always feel bad when they do that...

What does a fish say when he runs into a wall?

Ouch!

Welcome to the fishbowl, goldie!

Perhaps you could send the car and trailer ahead on a freighter?

Mac

I would love to visit Canada someday.

I had almost lived in Toronto.

Maybe my husband can get a job in Canada next... Who knows

Toronto sucks and is not a good embassador for Canada. Count yourself lucky to not have had to move there.

Come to Ottawa, though. Great town!!!

Mac

Make sure to investigate your options since we have such a huge country with different climates and landscapes and cultures and costs of living.

Mac

What can you sit on, sleep on, and brush your teeth with?
~
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~
~
~
~
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A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush!

Okay, now that was BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Mac

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'.

Toronto sucks and is not a good embassador for Canada. Count yourself lucky to not have had to move there.

Come to Ottawa, though. Great town!!!

Mac

Is Toronto that bad? I had heard it had a bit of a European feel to it.

I had applied for a job there and was -this close- to being hired. But when all the final forms had to be filled out the manager somehow disappeared???

Montreal and Quebec City feel European.

Toronto is cold, soulless, callous, and pompous.

The only reason I visit is because my best friend moved there, unfortunately. I can have a good time in Toronto now, but give me Chicago, Ottawa, or Montreal any day.

Mac

Mac

Too bad,... I have friends living in Missisauga and I would soooo love to visit your country!



Btw, Miss Hilton is ordered back to jail.

She is? Now that is what Germans call "into the potatoes, out of the potatoes" and no, you don't have to understand that. It has something to do with the farmer not being able to decide whether or not to start the harvest.



Some men wanted to visit their coworker at the hospital. They asked the nurse at the desk "Please can you tell us in which room lays the man that had gotten overrun by a steamroller?"


"Rooms 13 till 17."



And another steamroller joke:


Call at the hospital: "We have an emergency, our co-worker has gotten overrun by a steamroller!"

"Okay, just fax him over!"

Awful!


It's better to love a short man than not a tall.

Mississauga is typical suburbia, but it's a good launching place to visit Toronto (which you do have to visit once in your life) as well as the 'Golden Horseshoe' area which includes the famed Niagara Falls.

I'd reply to other posts individually, but I think it's silly that I have to waste 1 minute between posts, so here goes:

Astra and your steamroller jokes: (especially the rooms one)

Nymphy and your height joke: GROAN (and )

Mac

*is encouraged by Mac's laughter to toss out jokes wildly*


A man wanted to ride through the desert and bought a camel. The seller said, "This camel is very easy to handle. If you say 'oy', it will start to walk. If you say 'oy-oy' it will walk a little faster. And if you say 'oy-oy-oy', it will run."

The man took off with his camel and only after he had left the seller realized that he had forgotten to tell him to stop the camel with the word "Amen."

So, the man had said "Oy!" and the camel had walked slowly. After a while the man said "Oy-oy!" and the camel walked a little faster. Then he decided a little speed was nice and said "Oy-oy-oy!" and the camel was flying over the sand.

After a while he saw an abyss in the distance and tried to stop the camel but nothing worked. At last, when the abyss was very near and he did not think he ever would make it, he did a desperate last prayer. When he ended with "Amen!" the camel put in the brakes and stood - one foot before the abyss.

The man looked down and said, "Oy-oy-oy, that is deep!"

Good!!

Mom...Mom... It's not right... I'm to rich to go to jail....

As the doctor completed an examination of the patient, he said, "I can't find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I think it's due to drinking."

"In that case," said the patient, "I'll come back when you're sober"

A classic!

Mac