I like popcicles.

I think Canadian Geese should change their name to Kansas Geese. They spend far more time here than they do Up There!

Some of them would have to be dubbed Washington geese and Oregon geese.

It gives you a whole new perspective on how to play 'Duck Duck Goose'.

We also have a lot of wood ducks down here. Funnily enough, they are NOT made of wood

Do they weigh more than a witch?

Significantly less!

How about a very small witch?

How much wood would a wood duck duck, if a wood duck walked into a bar?

Well, depending on the velocity at which the wood duck walked into said bar (we'll suppose it's fabricated out of some sort of fairly solid metal, say titanium), the wood duck would either be unconcious or very, very angry, thus making it impossible to duck any wood (let alone a bar) and eventually bringing us to the roundabout conclusion that the wood duck didn't duck low enough in the first place.

A punchline walked into a bar.
The bartender looked at it and said, "You're too early!"

A period walked into a bar and came to a full stop.

Excellent!

Thanks. Well, yours wasn't so bad either.
I would have loved to tell you that it was my own brilliant brain that came up with this, but alas. The credit goes to some unknown genius on the net I stole it from.

The internet is full of cats and all manner of interesting, useful things!

Eggzackly! And I love it!

ever notice how the people that tell you to calm down are usually the ones who got you mad in the first place.

If all the world's a stage... I want better lighting.

3 men walk into a bar. I would have thought the 3rd one would have seen it.

BAHAHA! Me like

Winning!!

A toothless termite walked into a pub and asked, "Is the bar tender here?"

A mustache walked into a bar, and said, "don't give me any lip!"

A rabbi, a traveling salesman, and a clown walked into a bar. The barman glared at them and said, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

A bar walked into a punchline . . . okay, enough of that.

Mumble

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender looked at him and asked "Why the long face?"

If I only had some duct tape, I could probably wrap this op now...