Returning home from work, a blonde was astonished to see that she had been robbed. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at
the sight of the cop and his dog, and then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"

Good one!

Dog Property Laws:

1. If I like it, it's mine.

2. If it's in my mouth, it's mine.

3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.

4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.

5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.

6. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.

7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.

8. If I saw it first, it's mine.

9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.

10. If it's broken, it's yours.

My Mom wants to add...

If it's under the bed, it's mine.

Good addition!


In order to keep a true perspective on one’s importance, everyone
should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.

Reasons for a girl to choose a dog over a man:

- Spots are an attractive feature on a dog.
- Dogs enjoy ball games. But they don't spend six hours on the phone trying o get tickets.
- Dogs greet each other by sniffing bottoms. Men are far less polite.
- Puppy love doesn't wear off so quickly with a dog.
- Dogs can find their way back home - even after a really heavy night out.
- A dog can moult without becoming obsessed about premature baldness.
- Dogs can be taught the meaning of the word "NO!"

How Dogs and Men are alike:

1. Both take up too much space on the bed.

2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.

3. Both mark their territory.

4. Neither tells you what's bothering them.

5. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.

6. Neither does any dishes.

7. Both fart shamelessly.

8. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.

9. Both are suspicious of the postman.

10. Neither understands what you see in cats.

Loth, those are great!!

If it's broken, it's yours WHAHAHAHA



Btw, I was wondering.. anyone seen The Lion King (the original Disney, part 1)

I wait for Mac to return, she was the only one laughing anyway

How women and cats are alike

Both do what they want

Both rarely listen to you

both are totally unpredictable

both whine when not happy

Both expect you to cater to their every whim

Both are moody

Both drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.

Both spend hours grooming themselves

Touché!

Oh, yes... a hundred times! I love the music... and according to some of my LJ friend, I bear a strange resemblance to Timon the meercat (intellectually, not physically)

OH OH OH!!! We had twins!!

I love the music too!

Can you tell me what Rafiki is singing when he has a vision of a grown Simba to return to Pride Rock?

Later he explains to Simba it means "That you're a baboon, ns I'm not"

It sounds something like

Asanté sana squash banana
Wiewie.... somehting and so on...

I keep rewinding it but I really can't hear what he's singing.

Let me do some research and I'll get back to you on that!

sooooooo.... Nmyphy.... about those pencils if you are still up for it if you could fix me up with some i'd love you for ever and ever!!!

Yeah, say the word and I'll order them. You want 12 right? Or you want more?

hmmm..... 24 might bump the postage right up.... i'm not sure of the limets and stuff like over so much wieght might cost a bomb... so best stick with 12

say the word??? what word????? house?? car??? tree??? nose????? fish???? POTATOE???? WHICH WORD IS THE RIGHT WORD??????

Yes or NOW! work

Alrighty, I'll order. I'll let you know when they get to me.

YOU'RE THE BEST!!!!! OH GREAT.... I GOT CAPS LOCK STUCK....

YEAH^^ NOW LET ME KNOW HOW MUCH TOO^^ YOU WANT A CHEQUE OR WHAT??

OOOOO SPEAKING OF NYMPHS TODAY AT THE SCHOOL (WE WERE DOING POND DIPPING WITH THE KIDS) WE FOUND A DRAGON FLY NYMPH. IT WAS MASSIVE^^

When you write in caps by mistake in Word (don’t know if it works in other places) you can fix it by highlighting the text you have just written and press shift and F3 together. It will scroll through from TEXT to text to Text and back to TEXT again.
Unfortunately doesn't work in here but thought I'd mention as its a handy hint for those of us who type without looking at the screen. Or those that get sand stuck in their keyboard so the caps lock won't unlock

You got flooding where you are sluggie?

Or you can hit the shift key five times.

What is the difference between a cat and a comma?

One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.

nooooo! thats sticky keys! might work for some but I get confused when that turns on. It makes my keys do weird things.

Does anyone know if I’m right in thinking the VHS tapes of RDA’s movies Rock has in the U.S. store wont play in my UK player? I know my DVD player does all regions now but there’s no way to tweak VHS players is there?

as long as you tv and vhs player a ntsc compatible it'll be fine^^ i used to get MacGyver vhs tapes posted to me from america and they were ntsc and worked fine^^ no tweeking needed^^ hope this helps ya ratty^^

fix the caps lock with a screw driver was going to use a hammer but went for the sutble appraoch

nope ratty no flooding here^^ nice and dry^^ what about where you are???

i hate sticky keys too.... bugs me sooo much!!! and i keep turning it on when i don't mean to!!!!!

Oh! Cool!. Would it say on it if it was compatible? I have an old cheap player. Maybe I can find the manual...

Well it worked.

Don't know about dry but the rain has taken a break for the moment and there is thankfully no flooding. Just saw in the news about all the flooding in England and Wales and wondered if you were getting soggy sluggy. Glad you are safe and dry.

hehehe well it was pouring with rain when we were pond dipping... and funnily enough as soon as i walked through the door the rain stopped... NOW i'm dry^^ thanks to my friend mr hairdryer

i should think it'll be find ratty^^ all mine work even though they don't say it in the manual. i think it depends more on the tv and if that works with your dvds then i would say it'll work fine^^

which videos are you trying to play anyway???? i'm feeling nosey

I want to see all of them but that Odd Jobs one looks a bit pants and I don’t think RDA is in it much so I’ll probably pass on that. I don’t know which one(s) to get first. Anyone got recommendations? Anyone seen them? Are they all worth a look?

oooooo i dunno but if you find a good one let me know

not that i have a job yet to provide money to buy anything.... *goes and sits in the corner feeling sorry for herself*