You missed this then?

http://www.macgyveronline.com/forums/index...?showtopic=3202
All becasue of the stupid hacker and the big crash of 2006.

Yes, April May and June were very busy times for me, most of those days were spent repairing the upstairs apartment the tenants from h**l had destroyed. I asked Rock earlier, and he pointed out the msg to me grrrrr oh well, I'm on a posting frenzy now!

You're scaring me now!
Somebody stop her!

Whack!!! Tag, you're it. Grrl runs away..........catch me if you think you can.........

Snagging it back

The Indian chief says to his son, "Son, you push-um outhouse off-um cliff?"
The young brave says, "No, me no push-um outhouse off-um cliff."
The chief says, "Son, me tell-um you story of Great White Father, George Washington. Many moons ago, when Great White Father was young boy, him chop-um down cherry tree. Him father ask-um, 'Georgie, you chop-um down cherry tree?' George say-um, 'Cannot tell lie, Father. Me chop-um down cherry tree.' Him father say, 'Georgie bad, but Georgie honest, so you no get-um punishment.' Now I ask-um you again...you push-um outhouse off-um cliff?"
The young brave says, "Yes, Father, me push-um outhouse off-um cliff."
The Chief grabs the kid and beats the crap out of him.
The young brave says, "Father, Great White Father tell truth and get-um off scott-free. I tell-um truth...why you beat-um crap out of me?"
The Chief says, "George Washington's father not in cherry tree when George chop-um down."

nymphy nymphy nymphy did ya post em yet??? hehehehe how long do you think they will take????

Yes. They're probably at some postal processing center up north... NJ or NY getting on a plane. I'd say 4-6 days left until the school opens the package and spreads the wealth.

I love-um your Injun joke, Nymphy!

A Cat Heaven

One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to Heaven. There he meets the Lord himself. The Lord says to the cat, "You lived a good life and if there is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let Me know."

The cat thinks for a moment and says, "Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor." The Lord stops the cat and says, "Say no more," and a wonderful fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later six mice are killed in a tragic farming accident and go to Heaven. Again the Lord is there to greet them with the same offer. The mice answer, "All of our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from cats, dogs, and even women with brooms. Running, running, running; we're tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so we don't have to run anymore?" The Lord says, "Say no more," and fits each mouse with beautiful new roller skates.

About a week later the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him in a deep sleep on the pillow. The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him, "How are things since you arrived?"

The cat stretches and yawns and replies, "It is wonderful here. Better than I could have ever expected. And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending by are theeeeeeee best!!!"

How do you say brassiere in German?
Stoppenzumfrumfloppen.

Yes. They're probably at some postal processing center up north... NJ or NY getting on a plane. I'd say 4-6 days left until the school opens the package and spreads the wealth.

they better not!!! they are mine!!!!!! ALL mine!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA.......

although it might improve my chances of getting the job there....

Nar it's not worth it

sneaking off with the last post again!!!!!

A duck walks into 7-11.
He says, "Have you got any grapes?"
The guy says, "No."
The duck leaves. The next day the duck walks into 7-11.
He says, "Have you got any grapes?"
The guy says, "No, we haven't any grapes."
The duck leaves. The next day the duck walks into 7-11.
He says, "Have you got any grapes?"
The guy says, "Listen, Daffy, this is the third day in a row I'm telling you we haven't got grapes. You walk in here and ask for grapes one more time, I'm gonna nail your stupid webbed feet to the floor."
The duck leaves. The next day the duck walks into the 7-11.
He says, "Do you have any nails?"
The guy says, "No."
The duck says, "Good. Have you got any grapes?"

I know this one a little different:

A bunny was coming into the shop every day and asking, "Have you got any carrots?" until the shop owner threatened to nail him to the wall if he ever asked again.

The next day the bunny went to a different shop where a picture of Erich Honecker was hanging at the wall. The bunny asked, "Did you also ask for carrots?"

lol carrots, nope not me

Oh Shyte,

Just read a bulletin on Myspace on animal cruelty. There was no warning. I just got confronted with very shocking and disturbing pics on animal cruelty.
Call me a wuss, but I'm actually crying now.

Pics of seal pups being clubbed. Dog puppies (at a marketplace) thrown into a cardboard box, obvioulsy hurt and bleeding. Animal testing.

I'm not trying to act up like a Greenpeace warrior or whatever, but I just don;t understand how people can do this to defenseless creatures. Most of these animals depend on us and trust us (any pet owner will know what I mean)

Will it ever stop? I'm not trying to advertise, please don't get me wrong. I just don't get it. I really, really don't.
Rest my case.

Neither do I

Well, that ends my tour of the boards for this week. I'm not supposed to laugh, but guess what I'm doing now?

(Owwwwww.)

Mac

A Jewish kid comes to his father and asks, "Father, can I borrow $50?"

The father replies, "$40?! What do you need $30 for?"

When all else fails ... hide . It works for rabbits.

Where'd Kavi (for time being) go?

A man is driving a pick-up truck down the road with a bunch of ducks standing in the back. A police officer pulls over the driver, informs him that he is speeding and then asks him where he's going with all those ducks. The driver says that he doesn't know what to do with them anymore. The officer says, "Look, there's a zoo not far from here and that's where you should take them." The man thanks the officer and drives off with his ducks.

The next day the officer again sees the same pick-up truck barreling down the road. This time, though, all the ducks in the back are wearing sunglasses. The officer pulls the driver over and says, "I thought I told you to take those ducks to the zoo!" "I did," said the driver, "but now they want to go to the beach!"


Be kind to animals

A man and a women have been married for 20 years. The husband sneaks out of bed in the middle of hte night and his wife finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and tears rolling down his cheeks.

Concerned she asks him what is wrong. He answers "do you remember when we were kids, I was 18 and you were 16 and your Dad caughtus that night, in the backseat of my car?"

"Yes, I remember." she replies.

"Do you remeber how he gave me a choice, I could marry you or spend 20 years in jail?"

"Yes, of course I remember." she replies, tearing up herself.

"I was just thinking", he said as another tear slid down his cheek, "I would have gotten out of jail today."

Hiding ... gazing warily around ...

There was a bar man who owned a duck who danced on a tin box. He sold it to another bar man who phoned him later asking how to make him stop. He replied "Open the tin and blow out the candles!"


No ducks were harmed in the making of this joke.

I don't get it.

Duck on a hot tin box..............

Maybe there are burning candles in the tin box - which makes the duck dance - 'cause he has hot feet?

If he blows out the candles - the duck won't dance.

Maybe ........

Why don't oysters give to charity?

Because they're shellfish.